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THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1
Spring Into Fall
Diana Thater’s Peonies @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.3535, http://www.wexarts.org: Come check out Thater’s 9 screen installation of Peonies bloomin’! It will talk you back to spring, while the temperature outside starts to fall. 9a-8p; $5.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 2
Food and Dancing? We’re There
Greek Festival @ The Annunciation Greek Orthodox Cathedral, 555 N. High Street, 614.224.9020, www.greekcathedral.com: Channel your inner Big Fat Greek Wedding and enjoy traditional dancing, music and authentic Greek fare including freshly baked baklava. Take a tour of the cathedral to learn how it was painstakingly decorated by hand. 11a-midnight. Adults $5, seniors $4, children under 12, free.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 3
Fall Feast Needs!
Farmer’s Market @ COSI, 333 W Broad St, 614.228.COSI, http://www.cosi.org: What better way (aside from sex) to spend a Saturday afternoon than shopping some local produce and baked goods? 1p-4p; free.

Lets Play Dress Up
Hollywood Knights @ Woodlands Tavern, 1200 W 3rd Ave, Grandview, 614.299.4987, www.thirstyeartavern.com: Have fun with the over-the-top stage antics and full throttle attitude of Tommy Peacock and the Re-Generation and the Art of ‘Bogart.’ Dress up as your favorite celebrity and win a prize for best costume – I’m going as Gaga. 18+, 7p; $10.

A Little of What Martha Reeves Had in Mind
11^th Annual Rockin’ in the Streets @ Axis parking lot, 775 N High St., 614.291.4008, www.columbusnightlife.com: A street party featuring a special performance by BITCH (surprisingly, outlook editor Erin McCalla is not a band member). Proceeds benefit Girlz Rhythm N’ Rock Camp. (The “z” in Girlz shows that they’re extra hardcore.) 18+, 5-11p; $8 for advance tickets.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 4
Butterfly High
Monarch Mania @ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E Broad St, 614.645.8733, http://www.fpconservatory.org: For one of the last days of Blooms and Butterflies come stroll the gardens before fall hits! Perfect for the final hours of summer. 11a-2p; $11 for adults, $6 for kids.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 5
Go Raw… Only Tonight
WWF RAW @ Nationwide Arena, 200 W Nationwide Blvd, 614.246.2000, www.nationwidearena.com: See all of your favorite stars live with broadcasting from Nationwide Arena. Prepare yourself for some serious body slammin’ dude action. 8p; $17-$62.

Arriiibaa!
Margarita and Karaoke Monday @ AWOL, 49 Parsons Ave, 614.621.8779, http://www.awolbar.com: After sippin’ on some tequila, you’ll be good and ready to sing out some tunes on the karaoke stage. Maybe a little “Total Eclipse of the Heart” action? What a good way to shake off the Monday work blues. Karaoke starts at 10p; free.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 6
Whine to Wine
Wine Bar Happy Hour @ Camelot Cellars Winery, 958 N. High St, 614.441.8860, www.camelotcellars.com : It’s happy hour, come on, do we really have to persuade you? 5-9p; free.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 7
Salute!
The American Soldier: A Photographic Tribute @ The Ohio Historical Center, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: Come check out these blown up pictures of soldiers throughout the ages. How can you resist a man in uniform? It’s sure to make you start feeling some patriotism. (In your pants.) 10a-5p; $10.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 8
I’ve Always Said There Isn’t Enough Blood In Classic Theatre
Titus Andronicus @ MadLab Theatre & Gallery, 227 N.3^rd St., 614.221.5418, www.madlab.net: Billy Shakespeare’s earliest tragedy lost popularity due to graphic violence and blood-letting (kinky!) but is making its way back to the MadLab stage. Go for the gore, stay for the lore. 8p; $15 general admission, $10 students/seniors.

Hate on Hate Crimes
Is Being Different A Crime? @ The Ohio Historical Center, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: We’ll look at hate crimes and fear as a tactic of dealing with a changing society. 7p; free.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 9
Party Hard – Lesbian Style
22^nd Annul Ohio Lesbian/Womyn’s Festival @ Frontier Ranch, 8836 York Rd SW, Pataskala, OH; www.ohiolba.org: womyn, music, camping, shopping, workshops, dance, food, vendors, football, spoken word, slam poets, movies, open mic, community, kids, activities, childcare services… the whole lesbian spectrum. $70 -whole weekend; $45 Saturday; $25 Sunday.

Blues, R&B and…a Little Gospel On The Side?
Randy Hauser @ The Bluestone, 583 E Broad St, 614.884.4646, www.liveatthebluestone.com: Come see Randy Hauser perform live. He’s been described as passionate, enthusiastic, endearing, open-hearted, a masterful performer and…open to experimentation? 7p; $17.50.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 10
Drinking on Tour
Columbus Food Adventures : German Village Walking and Tasting Tour @ Schiller Park Community Center, 1069 Jaeger St, 614.440.3177, www.columbusfoodadventures.com : Walk the streets (no, not like that) of this awesome neighborhood and try all the booze and food. There’s nothing better then a drinking on a tour. 2-6p; $55.

Did Somebody Say Beer and Tacos?
Megacity Music @ Woodlands Tavern, 1200 W 3rd Ave, Grandview, 614.299.4987, www.thirstyeartavern.com: Try eating a taco for every band on the bill. There are 36. Then wash them down with 36 beers. Noon-2am; $10 in advance, $15 at the door.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 11
Support Our Country
Kevin McGuire 9/11 Memorial Concert @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E. Broad St, 614.221.6801, http://www.columbusmuseum.org McGuire performs alongside the David Tolley Trio in memory of 9/11.  All proceeds from this event will go to the 9/11 Memorial Fund. 3p; CMA Members: $25, Nonmembers: $30.

Blue’s Clue: Don’t Miss This One
First Annual Project Blues Bash @ The Bluestone, 583 E Broad St, 614.884.4646, www.liveatthebluestone.com: Even if you gotta glue your arms and legs back and carry your car to make it, do it! This will be an epic blues experience that you don’t want to miss. 1p-9p; $25 discounted tickets; $50 general admission.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 12
Fall Balls…Fall
Fall Softball League @ Perry Park, 2300 Collins Drive, 614.800.3435, www.cypclub.com: Want to burn some calories while possibly getting some balls to the face? uhh.. Columbus Young Professionals Club (CYP) has the hookup – Fall softball playoffs! Register online. 5 weeks. 6:30p and 7:30p; $40 per person.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 13
St. Patty’s Day Everyday!
Dropkick Murphy’s Shamrock n’ Roll @ The Lifestyle Communities Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave, 614.461.LIVE (5483), http://www.promowestlive.com: It may only be September, but we are all ready to bust out our green duds and drink Guiness all night long. Come check out this Irish band and prepare to get a little jiggy with it. Gates open at 4:30p; $29.50.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14
Diverse Your Bonds
Network Columbus @ Club Diversity, 863 South High Street, 614.224.4050: You know the drill! Join us once again for free food, booze and socializing at everyone’s favorite GLBT friendly networking event. 6p; free

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 15
We’re committed to gettin’ Jazzy!
Jazz on the Avenue Season Opener @ The King Arts Complex Theatre, 867 Mount Vernon Ave., 614.645.KING (5464), http://www.thekingartscomplex.com: The winner of NBC’s The Sing Off, Committed, come to serenade Columbus. These studly a cappella singers are surely something you won’t want to miss. 7p; $20- $25.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 16
Design & Fashion & Decorating, Oh My!
Art, Design, and Antiques Market @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E. Broad St., 614.221.6801, http://www.columbusmuseum.org: 25 dealers from around the country will be selling furniture, rugs, paintings, etc. Perfect for anyone decorating a home. 10a-5p; $10 for day pass, $15 for 3-day pass.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 17
For The Indie In All Of Us
Independent’s Festival @ Gay St. and Pearl Alley, www.thisisindependent.com: Independents’ Day is a simultaneous effort by active and creative people of Columbus to display their talents and abilities. It includes live painting and music, and a marketplace with more than 200 booths. 12p-midnight; free.

Montana de Luz
Hospice to Hope @ Hoover Reservoir, Westerville, 614.284.6745, www.montanadeluz.com: Come out and support the efforts of Montana de Luz (Mountain of Light), a non-profit organization that supports an orphanage in Honduras by participating in the 5K run or one mile family walk to support the cause. 9a; $25.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 18
Learn to Cook!
Autumn Dinner for Casual Entertaining Cooking Class @ North Market, 59 Spruce St, 614.463.9664, http://www.northmarket.com: Not all the gays can cook. Before all of your fabulous fall parties, learn how to make some tasty treats and meals. Especially if I’m invited. 1p-3p; $35.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 19
Gin Blossoms & Booze
Buckeye Bar Expo After Party @ The Bluestone, 583 E Broad St, 614.884.4646, www.liveatthebluestone.com: Join The Ohio Licensed Beverage Association (We like them!) for the after party featuring Gin Blossoms with special guests Bill Who? house band from Shadowbox Live.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20
But Mom, We Never Learn Anything On The First Day
Skip Syllabus Day Party with Andy Milonakis @ Skully’s Music Diner, 1151 N High St, 614.291.8856, www.skullys.org: Join Andy Milonakis and MTV Riff Raff featuring First Street Heat, Ak and Badom, Lil Marv and DJ Prospect. You know the first day of school doesn’t matter anyway, right? 9:30p-12:30a; $15.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMEBER 21
Fill Your Tummy, Warm Your Heart
Slice of Columbus @ Huntington Park, 330 Huntington Park Lane, 614.355.0819, www.nationwidechildrens.org/sliceofcolumbus: Pay one fee to sample loads of delicious pizza from different companies, while helping donate to Nationwide Children’s Hospital? Gosh, that’s sweet! 5p-9p; $12, $15, $35.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 22
The Best! The Best! The Best of You!
Foo Fighters @ Nationwide Arena, corner of Nationwide and Neil, 614.246.2000, http://www.NationwideArena.com: We know you have a special place in your heart for these guys, and want to go to the show. (Even if it is just to see Dave Grohl in tight jeans.) Rise Against and Mariachi El Bronx are opening. 7p: $29.5- $49.5.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 23
Buckeye Obsessed, Anyone?
Woody: His life, times, and teachings @ The Ohio Theater, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, http://www.capa.com: Most central Ohioans can’t help but be Buckeye obsessed, and if that’s you then you need to come check out this special tribute to the famous OSU football coach Woody Hayes. (No relation to Chris.) 8p; $35- $45.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 24
SHHHHake it shake it!
Dance or Die @ Kobo, 2590 N High St, http://www.kobolive.com: Whether you are still Vogue-ing or everyday you’re shufflin’, come get some Saturday night fever and shake your booty all night long. 9p; free.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 25
Das Boot!
Columbus Oktoberfest @ Ohio Expo Center, 717 East 17th Avenue, 888.OHO.EXPO, http://www.ohioexpocenter.com: We’ve all seen Beerfest, and if you loved it, why not live it? Leave the deep-throating of sausages to the experts. German booze, food, and music. 12p-8p; free.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 26
Stockholm syndrome
Opeth @ Newport Music Hall, 1722 N. High S, www.newportmusichall.com: The Swedish heavy metal band has touched down in the USA and is ready to rock. 7p; $28.25.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27
Play That Funky Music
Chromeo @ Newport Music Hall, 1722 N. High S, www.newportmusichall.com: This Canadian duo knows their funk. They’re so good we almost forgive Canada for giving us Justin Bieber…almost. 7p; $32.25.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28
Skills that Pay The Bills
CBUS GDI Hack Night @ Wild Goose Creative, 2491 Summit St, 614.205.8835, www.wildgoosecreative.com: Perfect for all the web designers out there. Bring all your projects, ideas and questions for a night hanging out and working with other coders. (Read: nerds.) There’ll even be food and drinks. 7p-9p; free.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 29
And the Whales come a calling..
The Joy Formidable @ Newport Music Hall, 1722 N. High S, www.newportmusichall.com: Hailing from London, England, the band promises to riot with sound, minus the fires, rocks… and looting? 7p; $7.75.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 30
Being A College Student Does Pay Off Sometimes
U Nite @ Geneo Park, 303 W Broad St, www.easycolumbus.com/unite: Free concert. Free games. Free prizes. For college students only. And did we mention it’s free? 4p-11p; free.

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MONDAY, AUGUST 1

You’re Never too old for a Bedtime Story

Bob Hunter Reading @ Thurber House, 77 Jefferson Ave, 614.464.1032, www.thurberhouse.org: Bob Hunter, Columbus Dispatch sports columnist since 1993, has written a new book, Chic, which tells the story of an unassuming schoolboy who laid the groundwork for Ohio Stadium and the Ohio State University program. Come enjoy listening to Hunter read his work. 7p; $15

TUESDAY, AUGUST 2

What’s Better On a Tuesday Night?

Goo Goo Dolls with Michelle Branch and Parachute @ Lifestyle Communities Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave, 614.461.5483, www.promowestlive.com: Come enjoy a night of music with the Goo Goo Dolls, Michelle Branch, and Parachute. The show is outdoors, and they will be performing rain or shine. 6p; $37

Lock-out got ya down?

A Tribute to Ed Sabol and NFL Films @ The Mershon Auditorium, Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.0330, www.wexarts.org: Count your losses at the program which includes They Call it Pro Football (1966), Anatomy of a Championship (1964) and NFL ’74: Championship Chase (1974). Join after the films for a panel discussion with Eddie George and Jim Lachey. 7p; $8.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 3

We’re all Art’ed up!

COMnGRAF 3: Breaking Borders @ The King Arts Complex Theatre, 867 Mount Vernon Ave, 614.645.KING (5464), http://www.thekingartscomplex.com: This exhibition will show both comic book art and graffiti art, and also take a deeper look into the artists and the process they go through. Maybe then you can make some of your own graffiti!  1-4p; Free

THURSDAY, AUGUST 4

Show me your samurai, (wink wink)!

Kinema Japan @ Film/Video Theater, Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.0330, www.wexarts.org: This series of films will take viewers to Japan, with selections that encompass the entire spectrum of Japanese filmmaking, from samurai classics to sci-fi stunners. This double feature will show Pale Flower (1964) and Caterpiller (2010). 7p; $7

Love me crazy with your fingers..

Loren Barrigar and Mark Mazengarb @ Bronwynn Theatre, 777 Evening St, 614.431.0329, www.mcconnellarts.org: Barrigar and Mazengarb share a unique musical chemistry seldom found among musicians. Their live performances feature not only their spectacular technical grasp of the guitar, but also their outstanding musicality and ability to be spontaneously creative. Come enjoy the fingerstyle guitar show. 8p; $10

FRIDAY, AUGUST 5

Hey Gays, come and get straight!

Straight To You Tour @ The Schottenstein Center, 555 Borror, 614.688.3939, www.schottensteincenter.com: Josh Groban will delight fans with favorites from his best-selling albums, including his self-titled debut, Closer, and Awake, as well as songs from Illuminations. ELEW will open. 8p; $46

Got trans?

4th Annual TransOhio Transgender & Ally Symposium @ The Ohio State University’s Multicultural Center and Student Union, 1739 North High St, 614.441.8167, www.transohio.org: This year’s conference will feature more than 70 workshops and is expecting over 250 participants! Register online. 8a-5p; $10-$150

SATURDAY, AUGUST 6

Hop right to it, shake yo booty!

Get Right @ Skully’s Music-Diner, 1151 N. High St, 614.291.8856, www.skullys.org: Come out for the gallery hop dance party with DJs Detox and Cashola. Guys 21+, Ladies 18+. Under 21: Before 10pm; $3. After 10pm; $6. 21+: Before 10pm; FREE. After 10pm; $3

SUNDAY, AUGUST 7

Everybody loves a little outside music!

Music in the Garden @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E. Broad St, 614.221.6801, http://www.columbusmuseum.org: The music will cover bluegrass, country, and folk , there is a little something for everyone! 2-3p; Adults $10, Children are Free.

MONDAY, AUGUST 8

Dance to some lance! not the gay one

Red Stag Party Series @ A&R Music Bar, 391 Neil Ave, 614.461.5483, www.promowestlive.com: Come out to the entertainment neighborhood of the arena district for the Red Stag Pre and Post Party Series featuring SOUNDOFF! with DJ Lance. 4:30p; FREE

Commune o’ queer ones

Community Celebration @ The Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 Broad Street, 614.645.8733, www.fpconservatory.org: The Franklin Park Conservatory has completed Phase One of the Master Plan, which included the Palm House Additions and Rooftop Gardens, Brides Garden, and James Turrell’s illumination of the John. F. Wolfe Palm House. Join in the celebration with a picnic on the Grand Mallway and a performance by ProMusica. 6p; FREE

TUESDAY, AUGUST 9

This is still happening?

American Idol Live @ The Schottenstein Center, 555 Borror, 614.688.3939, www.schottensteincenter.com: American Idol Live returns for another summer jaunt, showcasing performances by this season’s top 11. The 2011 lineup promises to be the most memorable yet given the diverse and daring talent. 7p; $42

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 10

Love faces?

Network Columbus-The Future Face of Our Fair City with Columbus 2020 @ Member’s First Credit Union, 1445 Goodale Blvd, 614.268.8525, www.networkcolumbus.com: Join Network Columbus for a networking event with speakers and the future faces of our city. 6p; Free

Inebriated for Equality!

Equality Ohio Happy Hour @ MoJoe Lounge/ German Village, 627 S. Third St, 614.221.1583, www.equalityohio.org: Come out for drinks and you’ll contribute to something more than your disheveled equilibrium-equality. With every drink purchased, a $1 contribution goes to Equality Ohio. 4p-8p; $5-$20

THURSDAY, AUGUST 11

We’re gonna go with USE.

To Use or Not Use Birth Control Through the Ages @ The Ohio Historical Center, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: For hundreds of years, there have been approaches to birth control. Panelists discuss the changes and attitudes towards it use. 7p; FREE.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 12

Just Dance

Summer Fridays at the Statehouse: Ohio Dance @ Ohio Statehouse West Lawn, Broad &High streets; downtown Columbus, 614.728.2130, www.ohiostatehouse.org: Come experience some of Columbus’ diverse art groups while visiting our beautiful Capitol building-every Friday. This Friday presents Dance Artists of Columbus: Demetrius Klein Dance Company. 12p-1p; Free

Its Zoolicious

JAzZOO: “Elvis, The Beatles &Beyond” @ Water’s Edge Events Park of the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium, 5350 East Powell Rd, 614.724.3485, www.columbuszoo.org: Jazzoo’s 6^th season with the Columbus Jazz Orchestra will be featuring a revival of the birth of rock ‘n’’ roll. With any luck, maybe a tiger or elephant will make an appearance and really “jazz” things up!  Gates open 6:30. 8p; $15-$89

SATURDAY, AUGUST 13

FIESTAAAA!

Festival Latino @ Genoa Park, 303 West Broad Street, festivallatino.net: Celebrate family and community with a day of children’s activities, music, food and dance from the heart of Latin America. 11a-8p; Free

SUNDAY, AUGUST 14

Sheepskin condom for your thoughts?

Exhibit: Controversy: Pieces You Don’t Normally See @ The Ohio Historical Center, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2300, http://www.ohiohistory.org:  This exhibit shows some of the most controversial pieces of our history, for example a sheepskin condom and many more unusual things! 10a-5p; $9-$13

MONDAY, AUGUST 15

Bringin’ out the dark side

More Noir: Return to City Heat @ Grandview Heights Public Library, 1685 W. First Ave, 614.486.2951, http://www.ghpl.org : The Library is back with their third Noir Film Festival, bringing more dark movies for you to enjoy, if you’re into that kind of thing. 6:30-8:30p; Free

TUESDAY, AUGUST 16

Foreign films? heck yeah!

Film History 101 @ Film/Video Theater, Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.0330, www.wexarts.org: Come out and see My Night at Maud’s, voted the Best Foreign Film of the 1970s by an international poll of film critics. 7p; $7

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 17

Situation? Pauly D??

Jersey Boys @ The Ohio Theater, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, http://www.capa.com: No, not those Jersey boys…This play, about four boys coming from blue collar homes turning themselves in pop sensations, shows how people get that American Dream! Starts today and goes until September 4^th, 8p; $25-$100

THURSDAY, AUGUST 18

A little romancing..

Wex Drive-In @ Film/Video Theater, Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.0330, www.wexarts.org: Join us under the stars for another summer of outdoor films. Bring blankets or lawn chairs and mingle with other film fans, and enjoy the showing of Howl’s Moving Castle (2004). 8p; FREE

FRIDAY, AUGUST 19

Blow me..

All Ohio Balloon Fest @ Union County Airport, 760 Clymer Rd, Marysville, 937.644.9111, http://www.allohioballoonfest.com : Great way to wrap up the summer by bringing to family out to this fest.  There will be 30 hot air balloons, live music, and concessions. 6-10p, $5

SATURDAY, AUGUST 20

Baby Let Me Light Your Fire

Waterfire @ riverfront of Genoa Park, 303 West Broad Street, www.waterfirecolumbus.com: Please join the community for a unique spectacle, bringing together friends to enjoy music, bonfires and riverfront entertainment downtown. WaterFire is a one-of-a-kind experience creating an opportunity for everyone to enjoy an evening out with the arts. Duck; Free!

rock out with your cash out!

Rockin’ Out Cancer @ BlueStone, 583 E. Broad St, 740.549.4693, www.rockinoutcancer.org: Help raise money while having a good time! Performances are on a volunteer basis, so 100% of proceeds are split between the James Cancer Hospital and a family that is battling cancer. The show is featuring LoCash Cowboys with special guests Loose Connection and The Divide. 4p; $25

SUNDAY, AUGUST 21

American way, the healthy way?

Hungry Planet: Local Food, Global View @ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E Broad St, 614.645.8733, http://www.fpconservatory.org: This exhibit provides information on the American diet and the word’s view on it, all based off a children’s book. Great for the kids! 10a-5p; $6-$11

MONDAY, AUGUST 22

Booze, boys in tight pants, and food? I’m in.

Columbus Clippers v. Buffalo Bison @ Huntington Park, 330 W. Nationwide Blvd, 614.462.5250, http://www.clippersbaseball.com : Come support our hometown baseball team during one of their last home series of the season, and plus, everyone loves a little beer and baseball. 7:05p; $6-$15

TUESDAY, AUGUST 23

We’re goin’ southern!

Exhibit: Spirit of an Appalachian Region @ OSU Urban Arts Space, 50 W Town St, 614.292.8861, http://www.uas.osu.edu: 35 artists from southeastern Ohio show off the daily life of the poverty stricken Appalachian region. 11a-6p; Free

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 24

Because we’ll never say no to boozing.

Drink Up Columbus @ North Market, 59 Spruce St, 614.463.9664, http://www.northmarket.com: Get over those hump day blues and come out for some local beer and food! To top it off CD101 will be DJing the event. 4p-7p; Free

THURSDAY, AUGUST 25

up on the rooftop!

Cocktails at the Conservatory @ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E Broad St, 614.645.8733, http://www.fpconservatory.org: Come to the rooftop gardens for a full bar, food, and live music! 5:30-10p; $11

FRIDAY, AUGUST 26

blankets and blues?

Rhythm on The River: Tony Monaco Trio and Community Blues Jam Session @ Bicentennial Park, Civic Center Dr. and W. Rich St, 614.645.7995, www.musicintheair.com : Bring a blanket and pack a picnic basket and come listen to some local and visiting musicians.  Great way to spend a summer Friday night! 8p; Free

SATURDAY, AUGUST 27

Oh you fancy, huh?

The Columbus Dance Center Presents: Dancing For Hope @ Hyatt Regency, 614.522.9232: Come see the “Ballroom Showcase & Black Tie Ball” dancing extravaganza! All proceeds go to the Dollars Allocated To Assist (DATA) Program, which helps cancer patients pay for everyday expenses. Includes amateur showcase, reception and main event. 2p-9:30p; $20-$175.

Shake, shake, shhhake it!

URNotAlone Trans Party @ Club Diversity, 863 South High Street, www.transohio.org: The party don’t start ‘til you walk in! Trans, friends, and allies, come party it up for diversity.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 28

Here comes the sun

Ground Control: Beatles Uber California Kota Ezawa @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E. Broad St, 614.221.6801, http://www.columbusmuseum.org: This exhibition will feature a video and sound mash up of The Beatles and Dead Kennedy’s song “California Uber Alles.” We know everyone is a Beatles fan so it is sure to be interesting. 10a-5:50p; $5-$10

MONDAY, AUGUST 29

Circle of life

Transformation: Gretchen Jacobs @ Upper Arlington Concourse Gallery, 3600 Tremont Rd, 614.583.5310, http://www.uaoh.net : Come check out this exhibit on the environmental cycles of birth, decay and regeneration. There will be all sorts of media to bring forth awareness of the Earth. 8a-5p; Free

TUESDAY, AUGUST 30

STRIPPERS. Enough said.

Strippers @ Exile, 893 N 4th St, 614.294.0069, www.exilebar.com: Hot & steamy male stripper goodness; Pants get dropped at 9:30p. (See the fun again on Sundays).

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 31

Ready, Set, Draw!

Double Barrel: Summer Western @ Gateway Film Center, 1550 N High St, 614.545.2255, http://www.gatewayfilmcenter.com: This is your last chance of the summer to check out a classic western film, be sure not to miss it! 7-9p; $6-$9

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JULY
FRIDAY, JULY 1
I Like To Make Myself Believe…
Owl City @ The Lifestyle Communities Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave, 614.461.LIVE (5483), www.promowestlive.com: Come get “Fireflies” with everyone’s favorite Minnesotan pop crooner! 6p; $32.

SATURDAY, JULY 2
Patriotic Picnic with the Pops
Picnic with The Pops @ Columbus Symphony, 55 E. State St. 614.228.8600, www.columbussymphony.com: Celebrate Independence Day with the fantastic Columbus Symphony. Come wave a flag and enjoy awesome renditions of patriotic tunes. Paired with wonderful fireworks, the evening should be a memorable one. 8:15p; free.

SUNDAY, JULY 3
Bring your Guns…
History Exhumed Civil War Event @Heritage Park, 60 N. Cleveland Ave. 614.794.0401, visitwesterville.org: Another perfect way to celebrate America’s history by watching the Civil War come alive.  It is a perfect event for the whole family! 12-6p; free.

MONDAY, JULY 4
Red, White, KA-BOOM!
Independence Day Celebration with Smokey Robinson @ Dublin Coffman High School, 6780 Coffman Rd., 800.245.8387, www.dublin.oh.us: Don’t miss one of music’s greatest at this free Independence Day festivity. In addition to awesome music, hook line and sinker in the Sherm Sheldon Fishing Derby, watch the parade and appropriately top the night off by watching fireworks.

TUESDAY, JULY 5
Moonlight Movies
Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory @ East Town Center, 160 Easton Town Center, 614.337.2200, http://eastontowncenter.com: bring the family out for this timeless movie under the stars. 8:30-10:30p; free.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 6
Friends? How many of us have them?
Gender Variant Peer Support Group @ Stonewall Columbus Center, 1160 N High Street, 614.299.7764, www.stonewallcolumbus.org: This is a peer led support group. Open to everyone – FtM, MtF, Cross Dressers, Gender Queer, Intersexed, etc. Facilitated by TransOhio staff. 7p; free.

i got my drank and my two-step
Drink Up Columbus! @The North Market, 59 Spruce St, 614.463.9664, http://www.drinkupcolumbus.com: every Wednesday go local with your happy hour at North Market. Local brews, food and bands. CD101 radio also joins the crowd every week to host. 4-7p; free.

THURSDAY, JULY 7
BOOZE and Cheese with CYP
CYP CLUB Wine Tasting @ Camelot Cellars, 958 N High Street, www.cypclub.com: Wine tasting, door prizes, and socializing with young professionals. Take home some free wine as well. 7p; $30-$35.

Come Get Screwed
July Uncorked! @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E. Broad St, 614.221.6801, http://www.columbusmuseum.org: CMA makes the perfect pairings of food and wine that is inspired by art. Come eat, drink and talk art. 5:30p; $25-$30.

FRIDAY, JULY
Pride Isn’t Just For June
Cincinnati Pride Festival @ Fountain Square, 513.763.8036 http://www.equinoxcincinnati.com: You’ve celebrated Pride in Columbus, Cleveland, Toledo and Dayton, now head down to Cincinnati and cheers the queers for one more festival before you hang up your rainbow wig.

FRIDAY, JULY 8
Today’s Forecast Calls For Golden Showers
R Kelly and Keyshia Cole @ Jerome Schottenstein Center Value City Arena, 555 Borror Dr, 614-292.2624, www.schottensteincenter.com: The Pied Piper of R&B and… Keyshia Cole unite in a show that apparently people were demanding. Bring your raincoats. 8p; $59-$96.

SATURDAY, JULY 9
Get Your Heart On
Walk With a Doc @ Highbanks Metro Park or Polaris Fashion Place 9466 Columbus Pike or 1500 Polaris Pkwy, 614.273.8030. www.walkwithadoc.org: Wake up with some healthy tips on the nice little walk with cardiologist Dr. David Sabgir along with other healthcare specialists. All activities are free: healthy snacks, blood pressure checks, recipes and general information regarding a healthy lifestyle. 8:30a; free.

SUNDAY, JULY 10
West side!
CAPA Summer Movie Series: West Side Story @ Ohio Theater, 39 E. State St, Http://www.capa.com: spend your Sunday afternoon watching one of the greatest sap drama/classic! 2-4p & 7:30-9:30p; $4.

smooth like i like my boose
SADE and JOHN LEGEND @ Jerome Schottenstein Center Value City Arena, 555 Borror Dr, 614.292.2624, www.schottensteincenter.com: Sade belts out her monotonic tunes while John Legend sings the blues. Get your tickets. 7:30p; $58-$168.

MONDAY, JULY 11
testing, testing, one…two?
free. HIV and STD Testing @ Stonewall Columbus Center, 1160 North High Street, 614.299.7764, www.stonewallcolumbus.org: Columbus Aids Task Force will be doing free HIV testing every Monday 1-5:30pm upstairs. Cols. Public Health Dept. is also here today doing free STD testing.

TUESDAY, JULY 12
Come away with me… in the night
A Midsummer’s Night Dream @ The Actor’s Theatre of Columbus, Schiller Park, 1069 Jaeger St, http://www.theactorstheatre.com: is there a better way to see this classic summer play than for free? Yeah, we didn’t think so. 8p; free.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 13
My Jockstrap Brings ALL the Boys to the Yard
Network Columbus-Sporty GLBT @ Crew Stadium, 1 Black and Gold Blvd, 614.447.2739, www.networkcolumbus.com: Network Columbus talks sports with speakers, networking, and free appetizers. Come out and play for your 2011 PRIDE Cup tickets. 6p; free.

THURSDAY, JULY 14
I’ve Got Your crazy
Restraint to Recognition: The Changing Perception of Mental Illness @ The Ohio Historical Center, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: Panelists discuss the diagnosis, medication, stigma, and treatment of mental illness, and how those have evolved in recent years. 7p; free.

Ball Out
Outlook Night with the Clippers @ Huntington Park, 330 Huntington Park Lane, 614.462.2727, www.huntingtonparkcolumbus.com: Come have a ball or two. Join Outlook out for a night with the Columbus Clippers vs. The Indiana Indians.  Be sure to mention you’re attending Outlook night when ordering tickets. 7p; $12-$15.

Friday, JULY 15
Almost as Sexy as Maksim Chmerkovskiy…
Dancing Tonight for the Stars @ COSI, 333 W Broad St, 614.228.COSI, http://www.cosi.org: Bid on local celebrities, elected officials and household names for a spin around the dance floor. Just don’t step on your partner’s feet.  ESPN’s Sage Steele and Jay Harris will MC. 7p; $75-$125.

Summer Fridays at the Statehouse: Opera Columbus @ Ohio Statehouse West Lawn, Broad &High streets; downtown Columbus, 614.728.2130, www.ohiostatehouse.org: Come experience some of Columbus’ diverse art groups while visiting our beautiful Capitol building-every Friday. 12p-1p; free.

SATURDAY, JULY 16
Those Hot Summer Days can be Ruff…
Picnic with the Pups @ CHA Animal Shelter, 3765 Corporate Drive, 614.891.5280, www.chaanimalshelter.org: The Annual Picnic with the Pups event offers great fun for man’s best friend. Sponsors like CD101 team up to bring you obedience demos to keep your pup in check, doggie games, microchip clinic and a food/beer garden for the guardians of our four-legged buddies. Fun for the entire family!  4-8:30p; free.

mad money in my madlab
MadLab’s Volatility 2011@ MadLab Theatre and Gallery, 227 N. 3^rd Street, 614.221.5418, www.madlab.net: The tenth year of this fundraising event for arts spaces with food, bands, booze, improv, theatre, dance, standup comedy and a silent auction. 3p; $5.

SUNDAY, JULY 17
Family Fun!
BikeColumbus Festival @ COSI, 333 W Broad St, 614.228.COSI, http://www.cosi.org: need a summer hobby to get in shape? Come learn about the joys of biking, even your kids will like it. 1-4p; $9-$15.

MONDAY, JULY 18
“ohh, myy love…my darling”-
Couples Clay Workshop @ Clayspace, 831 S. Front Street, 614.449.8114, www.clayspace831.com: Remake the infamous sexy clay love scene from the movie “Ghost” in this couples clay workshop. 3p-9p; $80.

TUESDAY, JULY 19
Because There is Never Enough Glitter…
Summer Sparkle@ McConnell Arts Center, 777 Evening Street, 614.431.0329, http://www.mcconnellarts.org: From the wine to the “Blingo” prizes, this night is all about the sparkle. The event even raises money for the center’s future events, but we’ll take any excuse to wear some extra glitter. 6:30-9:30p; $25.

WEDNESDAY, July 20
Talk spanglish to me baby
Spanish Night @ Barcelona Restaurant & Bar, 263 East Whittier Street, German Village, 614.443.3699, www.barcelonacolumbus.com: Special 3 course unique paella dinner featuring a starter, paella, and dessert. 7p; $25.

THURSDAY, July 21
free. Thursdays!
Double Sexus: Hans Bellmer and Louise Bourgeois Exhibit @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.3535, http://www.wexarts.org: The exhibit shows off the work of two artists whom never met, but both of them produced extremely sexually charged work that the world now pairs them together. 4-8p; free.

FRIDAY, July 22
Get Your Music and Meat HERE
Jazz & Rib Fest @ North Bank Park/Arena District, Long St, 614.645.7995, http://www.hotribscooljazz.org: There will be three stages for music and over 23 different types of ribs at this food/music festival. It is a perfect way to spend a summer Friday on the riverfront. 11a-11p; free.

SATURDAY, JULY 23
Save The Ball Kicking For The Field
Pride Cup 2011 @ Crew Stadium 1 Black and Gold Blvd., 614.447.2739, www.thecrew.com/PRIDE: The best thing about the first LBGT soccer tournament? Watching the athletes run up and down the field in shorts. Equality in sports is nice, too. Stay to watch how the pros get it done when the Crew hosts the Portland Timbers at 8pm. 12:30pm; $21.

SUNDAY, JULY 24
The Boy Bands are Back…
New Kids On The Block, Backstreet Boys, and Matthew Morrison @ Value City Arena, the Jerome Schottenstein Center 555 Borror Dr, 614.292.2624, www.schottensteincenter.com: And you thought you left these boys in the nineties… time to pull out the old boy band posters and t-shirts! This is sure to be an exciting reunion. Doors open at 7:30p; $40- $105.

MONDAY, JULY 25
“O darling buds of may…”
Viva Brother with 1,2,3 and Kitten @ The Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 North High Street, 614.292.0330, www.wexarts.org: Check out what’s “Next @the Wex “ with a concert featuring the British-pop sounds of Viva Brother. 9p; $12

TUESDAY, JULY 26
Swingers?
Swingin’ Tuesdays @ The Big Bang Dueling Pianos, 401 N. Front St. Suite 95, 614.467.0102, www.swingincolumbus.com : No, you won’t be putting your watch in a bowl at the door, but hey we still think it could be fun.  Every Tuesday you can remember the one hit wonder “Mambo No.5 and dance the night away. 7:30-11p, $3-$10.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 27
“She was Beautiful and She Didn’t Mean a Thing to Me…”
Death Cab for Cutie @ LC Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave, 614.461.5483, www.promowestlive.com: While I have my own bone to pick with Mr. Gibbard for marrying the love of my life, I’ll let it slide if he plays “405”. Indie rock band Death Cab for Cutie brings their catchy, good love songs to Cbus again with opener Frightened Rabbit. This is shaping up to be one of the coolest shows this summer. Doors at 6:30p; $32-$34.

THURSDAY, JULY 28
“Cradle of Jazz”
The 13^th Annual Heritage Concert Series@ The King Arts Complex Theatre, 867 Mount Vernon Ave, 614.645.KING (5464), http://www.thekingartscomplex.com: bring a blanket out to Mayme Moore Park and listen to Jazz, R&B and blues music. It’s the perfect way to spend a summer night, oh, and don’t worry there will be food. 6-9p; free.

FRIDAY, JULY 29
All is Fair
Ohio State Fair @ Ohio Expo Center, 717 E. 17^th Ave., 614.644.3247, www.ohiostatefair.com: You probably know the drill by now. There have, after all, been 157 of these things. Like every year, there will be musical performances, petting zoo, Kiddieland and a gazillion ways to fry something. So come on out, pet a horse, eat something fried (really fried) and maybe catch a country crooner. Perfectly wholesome fun for the entire family. Through 8/7. 9a-all day; $8-$10.

SATURDAY, JULY 30
Nothing Says “Physically Fit” Like …
Butters Beer & Burrito Bash @ Second Sole Gahanna, 315 Stoneridge Ln, Gahanna, 614.478.3361: Have you ever had the desire to run a mile, eat a burrito and drink beer, and then go on to run another mile? Do you also have the desire to projectile vomit like The Exorcist? Yeah, us too. 6p; $22-$30.

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WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1
‘Pride’ and ‘Pastrami’ Have Something in Common – The Letter ‘P’
Pride Art Show @ Spinelli’s Deli Downtown, 50 N High St, www.spinellisdeli.com: Exactly what it sounds like. What does ‘Pride’ mean to you? What do other people have to say about it in artistic form? All day; FREE.

THURSDAY, JUNE 2
“The New World” @ The Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: Take time to revisit your Disney years, but not literally. This is an earthbound-yet-metaphysical retelling of the 17th-century settling of the Jamestown colony and the romance between Captain John Smith and Pocahontas. 7p; $5-$7

FRIDAY, JUNE 3
Dance, My Pretties! Dance!
Dance For Pride @ Wall Street, 144 N High St, 614.464.2800, http://www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Stonewall Columbus will receive the $5 cover charge and donations for Pride 2011. First 25 people will receive goodie bags full of prizes including your Pride entrance dog tag! 8p to10p; $5.

SATURDAY, JUNE 4
‘Pride’ and, uh… ‘Financial Solvency’ Have… Something in Common
Colors of Pride Art Show @ First Community Bank, 647 N High St, www.firstcommunitybank.com: No matter how much debauchery Pride involves, you gotta be respectable the rest of the year. And the first step toward that is fiscal responsibility. All day; FREE.

Human Rights Campaign Columbus Gala Dinner @ Ohio State University, Ohio Union 1736 N. High St
Columbus, OH 43201, 614.436.1234, www.hrccolumbusdinner.com: Black tie optional. Save the date and be a part of Equality! 6p; Free-$175

JUNE 4-5
Miami Valley Pride @ MJ’s Café, 119 E Third St, Dayton, OH 45402, 937.223.3259, www.mjscafedayton.com: At MJ’s Café there will be a breakfast that will begin at 9a and then a Parade following thereafter at noon. Proceed to the Pride Festival at Courthouse Square and then there will be a family picnic Sunday. A weekend of family fun and great food, what more could you ask for?; Free

JUNE 4-5
Old West End Festival @ W. Central Avenue and Monroe Street, Toledo, OH, 419.259.5233, www.oldwestendtoledo.com. Come celebrate Toledo’s 40th Anniversary Old West End Festival. Art Fair, House Tours, Parade, Entertainment, Beer Garden, Yard Sales, Food, Children’s Activities, 5K Run, informal porch parties, FUN!!! 10a-6p; Free

SUNDAY, JUNE 5
The Second Coming
Robyn @ The Lifestyle Communities Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave, 614.461.LIVE (5483), www.promowestlive.com: Rescheduled at last! Robyn has not forsaken us. Don’t miss this Swedish goddess with special guests Diamond Rings and Natalia Kills at The LC. All previously purchased tickets will be honored. 7p; $15.

MONDAY, JUNE 6
Vroom Vroom
30-Year Ride: Honda’s Ohio-Made Motorcycles @ AMA Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museum, 13515 Yarmouth Dr., Pickerington, www.motorcyclemuseum.org: Come discover your inner hoss at this exhibition of Honda motorcycles; all made right here in the heart of it all. Adults $10/ Students. 9a-5p; $3.

TUESDAY, JUNE 7
It’s not Beyonce. Sorry, Kanye.
Taylor Swift@ Nationwide Arena, 200 W. Nationwide Blvd, www.nationwidearena.com: Come see crossover country-pop superstar cutie Taylor Swift perform her singles “Mine” and “Fifteen”. It’d be better for the kids and community in general if you left any of your cocky rapper friends at home. 7p; $72.20
Island-style Happy Hour @ The VolleyPark at Sequoia, 5501 Sandalwood Blvd, www.cypclub.com: Enjoy a night of tiki island fun. Free rum, so come get your Captain Jack Sparrow on.  6:30p to 9p; $5

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 8
Business 2 Business Network Expo11 @ Greater Columbus Convention Center, 400  N High St, 614.827.2500. This expo allows consumers to talk face-to-face with business owners about their practices. Consumers, let your voices be heard! 11:30a-6:30p; free.

An Informal How-To
Parenting: From Thumb Covers to Tiger Moms @ The Ohio Historical Center, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: This conversation will focus on parenting, including current controversy that has swirled around different approaches to parenting. 7p; FREE.

FRIDAY, JUNE 10
Paula Poundstone @ Capitol Theatre, 77 South High Street, 614.469.9580: More sexually ambiguous than Queen Latifah and attire that would make Larry King blush, this comedian is here and ready for business. Leave your kids at home, though. 7:30p; $35.

Park Street Festival @ 511 Park Street, www.parkstreetfestival.com: Food, music, games and fun. What more could you ask for a festival? Through 6/11. Free.

SATURDAY, JUNE 11
_____ For Pride!
Jaeger Walk/Run for Pride @ Goodale Park, 120 W Goodale St, www.columbuspride.org/events/runforpride: You’ve danced for Pride, you’ve slept next to a toilet for Pride, and now you can look ridiculous in short-shorts for Pride. Although the race is for serious competitors, I’m not sure how seriously I can take anyone in those shorts. All participants receive Pride Dog Tags. 9:30a; $30.

What You Always Do At Parties, Now Without The Guilt
City Hop Party @ Several different condominiums downtown, 614.221.4508, www.columbuslandmarks.org/cityhop/the-party: The perfect opportunity to come into stranger’s homes and eat their food. It’s like “Wedding Crashers” without the wedding. 7p to 10p; $75.

SUNDAY, JUNE 12
Sunday Funday: Indiana Jones-ish
Adventure: Valley of the Unknown @ COSI, 333 W.Broad St., www.cosi.org: Come on out to COSI and sharpen up your archaeological skills (or develop some…) If you can crack the code of the Observatory using your wits and creativity, you’ll complete your quest. Your friends might call you a nerd but you’ll just know they have an inferiority complex given that your intellect is greater than that of their own. Brush off the dust and haters and decipher an ancient code.  Adventure is $3. Regular admission is $13.75.

MONDAY, JUNE 13
30 Years? Isn’t That The Pearl Necklace Anniversary?
Pride 30th Anniversary Party @ Hubbard Grille, 793 N High St, www.hubbardgrille.com: I’d like to say it’s just one last hurrah for the dusty muff, but I’d be lying. Pride and us? We’re in it for the long haul. Gaga help us all. 5p to 8p; COVER.

TUESDAY, JUNE 14
If You Can’t Take The Heat…
Lips On Fire Fundraiser @ Park St Cantina, 491 Park St, 614.245.5115: Obliterate your taste buds on pepper at a time in the hot pepper eating contest. All proceeds support events for individuals with disabilities. 5p to 10p; Donations.

It’s a Swangin’
Swingin’ Tuesdays @ The Shrunken Head, 251 W 5th Ave, 614.467.0102, www.swingcolumbus.com: Each Tuesday, SwingColumbus brings you a culmination of great bands and DJs spinning the best in New Orleans, blues, rock & roll and Jazzy classics to get your swinging swag in at 100 percent. 7:30p; $3-10

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 15
Hump Day Happy Hour
Wyandotte Winery Happy Hour @ Wyandotte Winery, 4640 Wyandotte Dr, 614.476.3624, www.wyandottewinery.com: There’s simply no reason to not drink discounted wine on a Wednesday. They also boast the happiest hour out there. 5-7p.

THURSDAY, JUNE 16
Whip IT!
Devo @ The LC, 405 Neil Ave, www.promowestlive.com:  Put on your Durka Durka hoodie and helmet and whip it, bitch. 80’s group Devo is bringing their dance party-worthy hits to the LC. Their website boasts a way for you to lose 10 lbs in 5 minutes, check it out at www.clubdevo.com 6:30p; $38

FRIDAY, JUNE 17
It’s Pride, Bitches
Pride @ Goodale Park, 120 W Goodale St, www.columbuspride.org: Bust out the rainbow beads! Gentlemen, take off your shirts. Ladies, you too. Conveniently, you can wear your birthday suits under your business suits. And as Pride kicks off at 3p, you can come straight from work. Oh, and did I mention… Ferris Wheel? 3p to 11p; $10 (for entrance dog tags/wristbands).

Let’s Get Soakin’ Wet
The Big Gay Dance Party @ Skully’s, 1151 N. High St, 614.291.8856, www.skullys.org: Paired up with Sweatin’, we bring you a big awesome gay dance party. DJ Moxy on the decks spinnin’ your favorite dance hits. This one is sure to go down in history. 10p; $5-20

SATURDAY, JUNE 18
It’s Still Pride, Bitches
Pride @ Goodale Park, 120 W Goodale St, www.columbuspride.org: Okay! You drank yourself silly last night, but it’s still the weekend. And there’s still kegs and kegs of alcohol to get rid of. Take a hit for the team. 10a to 8p; $10 (for entrance dog tags/wristbands).

Ladies and Gentlemen, Chad Paul Frye
Pride Parade @ Downtown, www.columbuspride.org: This is actually a test to see if you can walk in a straight line. Parade forms at 10a downtown, step-off at 12p; Free.

SUNDAY, JUNE 19
363 Days ’Til Pride, Bitches
Pride Brunch @ Columbus Athenaeum, 32 N 4th St, 614.222.6338, www.columbusmeetings.com: So you have a two-day hangover. You know what cures that? BRUNCH. And mimosas. And denial. 11a to 1p

Cover Up Your Pride With Mascara
CLGSA’s Bat n’ Rouge @ Dodge Park, 667 Sullivant Ave, www.clgsa.net: Baseball and drag queens. Two of America’s favorite past times. COVER

MONDAY, JUNE 20
Meatless Monday
Eating Green: Practical Cooking Class with Chef RB @ Wild Goose Creative, 2491 Summit St, www.wildgoosecreative.com: In effort to help the environment and improve heart health, Wild Goose is promoting to eat vegetarian one day a week. At this cooking class taught by Chef Laura Robertson-Boyd, you can learn to make vegetarian and earth-friendly meals like Tofu  with Spicy Korean Garlic Sauce with Wheat Berries and Veggies. Yum. 7-9p; $35.

TUESDAY, JUNE 21
This ain’t boones’ farm and velveeta
Culinary Class: Red, White and Bleu @ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E. Broad St, 614.645.5923, www.fpconservatory.org: At this culinary class, you can learn to make your get togethers a little classier. It’s not like a case of Natty and some Pringles isn’t the bomb, it’s just you are 29. Increase your entertaining a notch by learning wine and cheese pairings and three simple dishes to accommodate any palate. 6:30-8p; $30-35

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 22
Glee Hottie? In Columbus?
Matthew Morrison @ Palace Theatre, 34 W. Broad St, 800.745.3000, www.ticketmaster.com: We all love him; Mr. Schuester himself is taking a break from his tour with NKOTB and the Backstreet Boys to come see us Gleeks in Cbus. 7:30p; $53.85-$76.85

THURSDAY, JUNE 23
Drop Off The Kids For A Few
Kid Only Zone!: All About Burgers @ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E. Broad St, 614.645.8733, www.fpconservatory.org: We all know kids love burgers, at this informational and delicious “experiment”, Franklin Park offers a healthier alternative to fast food. Kids will learn the difference between turkey burgers, traditional hamburgers and veggie burgers. This could be the answer to avoid stepping on bitchy fast food toys and having a sluggish kid. Also, it could just give you a few hours to hit up happy hour without the little ones. 6-8p; $25

FRIDAY, JUNE 24
Eat Your Heart Out, Glee!
Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus/VOX @ Ohio Statehouse, 1 Capitol Square, www.ohiostatehouse.org: Singing gay men. Does anything else need to be said? 12p to 1p; Free.

SATURDAY, JUNE 25
Dayton Pride Dinner @ Ponitz Center, 301 W. Fourth Street, Dayton, OH 45410, 937.274.1776, www.pridedayton.com: The Center is celebrating its 35th anniversary by once again hosting the annual Pride Dinner which it has done for a number of years. This year there will be a Dayton favorite Suzanne Westenhoefer and are featuring Dayton Police LGBT liaison Sgt. Wendy Stiver to act as keynote speaker. The evening ends with the annual Big Gay raffle drawing for many prizes. 5p; $45 tickets

SUNDAY, JUNE 26
Take Off Your Top and Buy A Necklace
Comfest @ Goodale Park, Park St & Buttles Ave. www.comfest.com: We know pride was last weekend, but you’ve surely recovered. Put on your Ray-Bans and buy a huge beer. It’s fun, it’s ComFest. It’s all weekend and as always, it’s free.

MONDAY, JUNE 27
Social Media Business Connection @ TECHColumbus, 1275 Kinnear Road, Columbus, OH 43212. Have any special skills that you want to show off? Head on over, meet new people, and make yourself known. It’s all the social networking you do on the Internet, except it’s real life. 6p, Cover.

TUESDAY, JUNE 28
“Tomorrow May Rain, so I’ll Follow the Sun…”
The British Invasion @ Grandview Heights Public Library, 1685 W. First Ave, 486.2951, www.ghpl.org: Although it is more than just a Beatles tribute, many of their hits will be covered. Also, songs by other English 60’s groups will be performed. Fun for the whole family. 7:30-8:30p; FREE.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 29
A Little Rivalry Never Hurt Nobody
Columbus Clippers vs. Toledo Mud Hens @ Huntington Park, 330 Huntington Park Lane, 614.462.5250, www.clippersbaseball.com: Columbus’ own minor league Clippers take on their rivals from the north, the Toledo Mud Hens. If you go to one Clippers game this season, this is the one. Hot dogs and beer and a little old school rivalry, sounds fun, huh? 12p; $6-20

THURSDAY, JUNE 30
Better Than A Midsummer’s Night Scream…
The Actors’ Theatre of Columbus: A Midsummer Night’s Dream @Schiller Park, 1069 Jaeger St, 614.444.6888, www.theactorstheatre.org: One of Shakespeare’s best comedies, this production is a debut for the Actors’ Theatre of Columbus. So come on out, funny face: Big Willy Style’s all in it. Continues through July 31. FREE

JULY

THURSDAY, JULY 14
Restraint to Recognition: The Changing Perception of Mental Illness @ The Ohio Historical Center, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: Panelists discuss the diagnosis, medication, stigma, and treatment of mental illness, and how those have evolved in recent years. 7p; free.

Wednesday, JULY 30
Nothing Says “Physically Fit” Like …
Butters Beer & Burrito Bash @ Second Sole Gahanna, 315 Stoneridge Ln, Gahanna, 614.478.3361: Have you ever had the desire to run a mile, eat a burrito and drink beer, and then go on to run another mile? Do you also have the desire to projectile vomit like The Exorcist? Yeah, us too. 6p; $22-$30 ADDRESS

AUGUST

THURSDAY, AUGUST 11
To Use or Not Use Birth Control Through the Ages @ The Ohio Historical Center, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: For hundreds of years, there have been approaches to birth control. Panelists discuss the changes and attitudes towards it use. 7p; FREE.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 27
The Columbus Dance Center Presents: Dancing For Hope @ Hyatt Regency, 614.522.9232: Come see the “Ballroom Showcase & Black Tie Ball” dancing extravaganza! All proceeds go to the Dollars Allocated To Assist (DATA) Program which helps cancer patients pay for everyday expenses. Includes amateur showcase, reception and main event. 2p-9:30p; $20-$175.

SEPTEMBER

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 8
Is Being Different A Crime? @ The Ohio Historical Center, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: We’ll look at hate crimes and fear as a tactic of dealing with a changing society. 7p; FREE.

OCTOBER

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 13
Not Just a Chair: Culture, Justice, and Change Over Time @ The Ohio Historical Center, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: Different times and cultures have dealt with corporal punishment in different ways. Panelists discuss how cultures dictate suitable punishment for crime or disobedience. 7p; FREE.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 19
Perfection has arrived!
Billy Elliot The Musical @ Ohio Theatre, 39 E. State St, 614.469.0939, www.broadwayacrossamerica.com: Everyone’s favorite dancing sensation has finally arrived in Columbus! Experience the journey of one young boy’s desire to become a ballet dancer. There won’t be a dry eye in the house. TIME AND PRICE ANNOUCED LATER   

NOVEMBER

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10
Our Experience @ The Ohio Historical Center, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: A community conversation about the conversation that has taken place surrounding the objects, the exhibit, and the media response. This conversation will be shaped by the experience of the Ohio Historical Society, its staff and visitors during the course of the exhibit. What happened? What did we learn? 7p; FREE.

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FRIDAY, APRIL 1

I Was Once Offered A Job On April 1…
April Fool’s Day @ everywhere: The best prank of all time? Put a rubberband around your sink sprayer thing. Works every time.

College And University Students 4 Equality
Cause Conference Kick Off @ The Center for Workforce Development, Ballroom (WD 435), 315 Cleveland Ave, www.equalityohio.org: A summit for LGBT and allied leaders in the college and university community working toward equality. This summit sets out to inspire, empower and support students and young leaders between 18 and 24 working hard for equality in their communities. Workshops include: The Art of Drag, LGBT dating violence, LGBTQ Activism 101, Transgender Legal Protections Against Employment Discrimination and many more. 7p – 10p. Check site for registration info.

SATURDAY, APRIL 2

If Only Roller Boys Didn’t Go Out With The 90s…
Ohio Roller Girls v. Hard Knox Roller Girls @ Ohio Expo Center – Lausche Building, 717 E 17th Avenue, www.ohiorollergirls.com: Intense. Girl on Girl. Action. So wear your gang green (or nothing at all) and cheer on the home team. 5p; $17.

SUNDAY, APRIL 3

Balls To The Wall, Or Other Places
Softball Registration @ Exile, 893 N 4th St, 614.299.0069, www.exilebar.com: Come out to meet new and returning players and coaches! All skill levels welcome. You may have just watched the World Series last year, but now it’s time to get involved. 3-6p; free.

MONDAY, APRIL 4

The ‘One True Thing’ Isn’t Blowjobs, Girls
Anna Quindlen @ The King Arts Complex Theatre, 867 Mount Vernon Ave, 614.645.KING (5464), www.thekingartscomplex.com: Pulitzer Prize winner Anna Quindlen dishes up the literary gossip with friend and another Pulitzer Prize winner, Connie Schultz. Let the papers fly and check the weaves for inkwell pens. Reception at 6p, Talk at 7:30p; $40, $25 (talk only).

TUESDAY, APRIL 5

Even People in the 1860s Knew To Be Safe
Controversy @ The Ohio Historical Center, 1982 Velma Ave, 614.297.2300, www.ohiohistory.org: Five objects, only controversial because of the viewer’s conceptions. The objects haven’t done anything to hurt you. Just the people who have used them. Runs through November 20, but what else are you going to do on a Tuesday? All day; Gen. admission plus $5.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 6

You Too, Can Be A Goddess
Charlie Sheen Live: My Violent Torpedo of Truth @ Palace Theatre, 34 West Broad Street, 614.469.9850, www.capa.com: We’re not sure what a torpedo of truth is either. But it’s gotta be good, right? 8p; $57.45 – $575.

THURSDAY, APRIL 7

Hint: Scandal
What The Butler Saw @ Verne Riffe Center’s Studio One Theatre, 77 S High St, 614.469.1045, www.capa.com: Farce or tragedy? Sounds like Lindsay Lohan might be involved. All the makings of a good comedy, and then someone set it in a psychiatric ward. Runs through Apr 17. 11a (Wed), 8p (Thu-Sat), 2p (Sun); $11 (Wed), $24.50 – $39.50.

Gayducation
Marathon @ Gateway Film Center, 1550 N High St, 614.545.2255, www.gatewayfilmcenter.com: This month’s OUTTakes film explores the relationship between Richard Harteis and William Meredith, former US Poet Laureate and winner of every major American award for poetry including the Pulitzer Prize. 8p; $5 – $8.

FRIDAY, APRIL 8

Wear Your Superman Gear
Jerry Seinfeld @ Ohio Theatre, 39 East State St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: People go to comedy shows. What’s up with that? 7p; $56.45 – $92.20.

SATURDAY, APRIL 9

Use Your Words, Ladies
Words of Womyn @ Kobo, 2590 N High St, www.kobolive.com: A fiery night of Columbus’ fiercest womyn. And this night doesn’t require you to see a doctor in the morning about that burning sensation; it’s poetry. 7p; $5 donation.

My Favorite Number That Grew By 1.5
CD101 Day @ The Lifestyle Communities Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave, 614.461.LIVE (5483), www.promowestlive.com: CD101 at 102.5 FM (So they’re showers, not growers) presents CD101 Day. With Fitz & the Tantrums, Young the Giant, Ra Ra Riot, Deluka, Civil Twilight, and TBA! My favorite local CBus band of all time. 5p; $5.

SUNDAY, APRIL 10

Is That It Here? Wine And Beer!
Rent @ Shadowbox Live, Easton Towne Center, 614.416.7625, www.shadowboxlive.org: It’s like a gay-Mecca, but without leaving your city. Runs on Sundays, through Apr 17. 2p & 7p; $30 (adults), $20 (senior/students).

MONDAY, APRIL 11

The Only Test You Want To Take
HIV Testing @ Stonewall Columbus Community Center, 1160 N High St, 614.299.7764 www.stonewallcolumbus.org: Every Monday. It’s free. It helps you stay that way, too. Free condoms, ‘nuff said. 1p; free.

TUESDAY, APRIL 12

I Spend My Days Uncovered
Discussion to Uncover Hidden Meanings @ Beehive Books, 25 N Sandusky St (Delaware), www.dgsca.org: The presenter, Linda Mercadante, Ph.D., has conducted more than 85 in-depth interviews with people across the country about their spiritual beliefs and has engaged in hundreds of informal conversations for an upcoming book on the topic. Mercadante will include info she gleaned from interviews with gays and lesbian, who often feel shunned from their home churches after coming out. 7p; free.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13

Rub That Sauce All Over Your Body
Network Columbus @ Economic and Community Development Institute, 1655 Old Leonard Avenue, www.networkcolumbus.com: Join the members of Network Columbus for an event and speakers concerning the Economic & Community Development Institute, and their programs for small business loans, training, grants, home ownership, and educational scholarship. Michael Hermick of Zampico Foods will present the first 40 networkers with a free jar of Zampico pasta sauce. 6p; free.

THURSDAY, APRIL 14

Is Blake Riley’s Penis One Of Them?
Skyscrapers of the Midwest @ Verne Riffe Center’s Studio Two Theatre, 77 S High St, 614.469.1045, www.capa.com: Available Light Theatre presents something you never thought you’d see: comic books and live theater teaming up. In this adaptation of the critically-acclaimed graphic novel, we experience the joy and pain of two siblings in the 1980s. No, it’s not a John Hughes movie. Through Apr 23. 8p; pay what you want.

FRIDAY, APRIL 15

The Day That Shall Not Be Named – So Let’s Talk About a Different Event
Alleviating Poverty Through Entrepreneurship @ Mershon Auditorium, Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N High St, www.fisher.osu.ed/APTE: A dynamic conference that engages the public to explore entrepreneurial solutions to local and global poverty. APTE attendees will also have the chance to get plugged into internship, research, volunteer, and study abroad opportunities to channel their interest and enthusiasm into projects that help communities down the street and around the globe. 9a – 5p; free.

SATURDAY, APRIL 16

Young And, Um… Talented?
CCAD Art Sale @ CCAD Crane Center, 60 Cleveland Ave, www.ccad.edu: Modern art escapes me. But maybe that’s the point? Anyway, CCAD is full of all sorts of burgeoning artists. There’s something for everyone (and cheap!). 9a ($50), 10:30a ($5) until 2p.

SUNDAY, APRIL 17

Committed In A Good Way
Fully Committed: A Gay Wedding Affair @ Athletic Club of Columbus, 136 E Broad St, www.fullycommittedcolumbus.com: A chic brunch-style wedding event featuring LGBT owned and allied vendors. Mimosas, appetizers, mix & mingle fashion show. What more could you ask for?! And ticket sales benefit Equality Ohio. $20 (adv), $30 (door), 10a – 2p.

MONDAY, APRIL 18

Happy Happy Joy Joy
All-Day Happy Hour @ Level Dining Lounge, 700 N High St, 614.754.1342, www.levelcolumbus.com: My favorite happy hours are the ones that don’t end… until you find someone to take home. All day; The Price of Booze.

TUESDAY, APRIL 19

Face 2 Face Is My Least Favorite Position
Face 2 Face, 25 Years of Art and Community @ The Columbus Cultural Arts Center, 139 W Main St, www.studiosonhigh.com: A show about the longevity and importance of the Studios on High. Runs Apr 15 – May 11. All day; free.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20

Wine, Not ‘Whine’ Around The World – Just Shut Up And Go
Wine Around the World @ Confluence Park Restaurant, 679 W Spring St, www.waw2011.kintera.com: This event features 22 wines from around the world, live music, great food, silent auction and much more. All of the proceeds benefit the Home Care Support Program of the Columbus Cancer Clinic. 5:30p – 8p; $45.

It’s Called Drag – It Supports The Economy and Macy’s
CMC Forum – Sustainable Arts and Economic Development @ Athletic Club of Columbus, 136 E Broad St, www.columbusmetroclub.org: With Bruce Harkey, Executive Director, Franklin Park Conservatory; Alex Fischer, President and CEO, The Columbus Partnership; Doug Kridler, President and CEO, The Columbus Foundation; Paul B. Redman, Executive Director, Longwood Gardens Inc. 12p; $40, $20 (members).

THURSDAY, APRIL 21

Get All Moist
Sweatin’ @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, www.sweatinpresents.com: Dance the night away. Leave your fluids on the floor. Good times. Doors at 10p; cover.

FRIDAY, APRIL 22

It’s Earth Day, Bitches
Earth Day @ The Earth: Don’t throw that cigarette butt out your car window! Recycle that shit. And instead of spray-product, use some gel-product. Mother Effing Earth needs your help. All day; free.

SATURDAY, APRIL 23

Where No One Can Hear You Moan!
Camp Nowhere @ Wall Street, 144 N Wall St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: A touring performance of drag kings and gender benders featuring Gavin Danger, benefitting Camp Sunrise. What’s not to love? Come early, come often. 9p; $7.

SUNDAY, APRIL 24

I’m a Twice-A-Year Dragger
Holy $#¡T @ Wall Street, 144 N Wall St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Noka Davers’ delectably sinful show. It’s finger (and other body parts) lickin’ good! Featuring Sherri Dribblelipz, Viva Valezz, Rocco Giovanni, DJ Lydia Beatz, and more Queens and Kings. Doors at 8p, show at 9p; $7 or a table of four for $35.

Oh, PS It’s Easter
Easter @ Everywhere Jesus is: It just pales in comparison to the monthly coming of Noka Davers.

MONDAY, APRIL 25

Revolution! Without Leaving Your Home
Stonewall Uprising @ Your TV: WOSU is airing Stonewall Uprising as part of the American Experience film series. Too bad they’re going up against the season finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race. 9p; free.

TUESDAY, APRIL 26

…And His Good Friend Rockin’ Robin
Jay Bird @ Southbend Tavern, 126 E Moler St, 614.444.3386: Fantastic bartender, servin’ up some sweet, sweet booze. Or possibly dry, dry booze. Or even, if it’s your palette, hoppy, hoppy booze. All night; free.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27

Under My Umbrella ella ella
Mary Poppins @ The Ohio Theater, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: The world’s most famous nanny is coming to you! Get a spoonful through May 8. 7:30p; $22.50 – $132.50.

THURSDAY, APRIL 28

Remember the Smell of Your Dad’s Favorite Jacket?
CLAW 10 @ Hilton Garden Inn (Cleveland), 1100 Carnegie Ave, 216.658.6400, www.clawinfo.org: It’s CLAW 10. Imagine… 10 whole years of leather-goodness. The thought just makes you want to go to a public park at midnight and stand near some bushes! All weekend; $5 (day pass), $90/$165 (basic/premium weekend passes).

FRIDAY, APRIL 29

Some of Those Trees Were My Friends!
Arbor Day @ Everywhere: Plant a new best friend. Love it. Climb it. Talk to it. Trees Rock!

Deadly? What About Those Of Us Who Live In Sin?
7 Deadly Sins @ Verne Riffe Center’s Capitol Theatre, 77 S High St, 614.469.1045, www.capa.com: BalletMet and Shadowbox Live join forces for this rock ballet! (cue lightning) It’s ALIIIIIIIIVE! Through May 7. 8p; $21 – $49.

NAMBLA Meeting
Jon Stewart @ The Palace Theatre, 34 W Broad St, 614.469.9850, www.capa.com: The man who has single-handedly changed history. For the funnier. Or at least for the less-apathetic. 7:30p; $47 – $57.

SATURDAY, APRIL 30

Hopefully A Tron Reference
Off the Grid @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: Like the good ol’ fashioned gay clubs there will be electronic music, delectably queer youth, and so much fog you can’t see the person on their knees in front of you. DJs Patrick (O-Gee) and Shuttle (Nate of Passion Pit) will lay down some beats. BYOFunk. 9p; $40 (adv), $50 (day of), $100 (all access).

She Blinded Me With Science
Wonderland Science Fair @ COSI, 333 W Broad St, 614.228.COSI, www.cosi.org: A panel of expert judges will award prizes for “Most Creative” and “Most Science-y,” as well as a “Teen Prodigy” award for contestants under 18. A “People’s Choice” award will also be given, based on the results of visitor ballots. Prizes will be provided by Wonderland and sponsoring local businesses. All day; $20 (entry fee).

SUNDAY, MAY 1

A Gay-La For The Ages
Short North Gala @ Greek Orthodox Cathedral, 555 N High St, 614.299.8050, www.shortnorthgala.com: Cocktails in the courtyard, followed by dancing and a taste of the Short North in the ballroom. We know it sounds classy, but that’s the Short for ya; classy on the surface and a hot mess underneath. But the most loveable hot mess we ever knew. 6p; $65, $850 (table of 10).

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TUESDAY, MARCH 1
I’d Like To Thank The Academy…
2011 International Awards Ceremony @ Greater Columbus Convention Center, 400 N High St, 614.827.2500, www.columbusconventions.com: The Columbus Council on World Affairs hosts this glamorous event recognizing outstanding contributions to global education and understanding. This year, they honor Limited Brands as well as the International Educator of the Year. 12p; $25 (mem), $50 (non).

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2
I Thought Tsunamis Wiped Things Out?
The Demographic Tsunami @ Athletic Club of Columbus, 136 E Broad St, www.columbusmetroclub.org: Kathryn Lawler speaks on creating life-long communities to accommodate a changing demographic. Of all the people in human history to have live to age 65, 50% of them are alive today. 12p; $18 – 28.

Homeownership: The Final Frontier
Prospective Homebuyer Sessions @ MORPC Office, 111 Liberty St, Suite 100, www.comehomeco.org: Learn about budgets, mortgages, credit, and inspections at these homeownership classes. And meet other sexy singles with family in mind. Okay, maybe that’s pushing it. More sessions on March 9 and 16. 5:30p; free.

THURSDAY, MARCH 3
Like Dan Savage, But With More Intrigue
The Curious Savage @ McConnell Arts Center, 777 Evening Street, www.mcconnellarts.org: Worthington Community Theatre presents a comedy about a widowed stage actress who is ostracized by her children, and subsequently committed to a psychiatric institution. The catch? She is the only one who knows where the family’s fortune of ten million dollars is hidden. Runs through March 6. 8p (2p on March 6); $12 (adults), $10 (students and seniors).

He’s Going to Pump You Up
Arnold Professional Boxing Championships @ Greater Columbus Convention Center, Hall C, 400 N High St, 614.827.2500, www.arnoldsportsfestival.com: Come watch some really jacked folks beat on each other to inspire the rest of your flabby time at this fitness expo. 7p; $10 – $25.

FRIDAY, MARCH 4
From James to Jenny
Jennifer Finney Boylan @ Wright State University, 3640 Colonel Glenn Highway, Dayton, 937.775.3333, www.wright.edu: Transgender author Jennifer Finney Boylan will be at Wright State as the Scholar-in-Residence for Women’s History Month! Check her out March 3 and 4 as she discusses her book, “She’ Not There: A Life in Two Genders.” Times vary.

SATURDAY, MARCH 5
For Those of Us Who Can’t Last Until Halfway-to-Halloween
Dead of Winter Bash @ Wild Goose Creative, 2491 Summit St, www.ethiopianorphanrelief.com: Come as your favorite dead famous person (or dead scourge of the sea) and really celebrate the seasonal… I got nothing. Just go as a dead person and rock out. Proceeds go to Ethiopian Orphan Relief, a non-profit benefitting orphaned children in Ethiopia. 7p – 10p; $50.

What About Those Of Us Who Like Being Punished?
Guilty Pleasure @ Wall Street Night Club, 144 N Wall St, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: A drag and burlesque show starring the good, the bad, and the innocent until proven guilty. Also, probably a good share of crimes against fashion. Perpetrators include Taylor Mayde, Sexy Rexy, The Royal Renegades, Viva! Valezz and the Velvet Hearts, More Love Productions, Sex Kitten Purr-lesque, Cleveland Kings and Girls. Special video cameo by Noka Davers. All proceeds go to benefit a shelter for homeless LGBT youth. 9p; $7.

I Just Want To Dance!
Stand Together To Make It Better @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.3535, wexarts.org: An informative conversation about the dynamics of bullying, and how two artists – Dante Brown (dance) and Liv Gjestvang (video) – raise awareness through their art. The two will respond to recent trends in LGBTQ bullying. 10a – 4p; free (to teachers).

Take a Bite Out of Crime
Columbus Police Recruiting Session @ Stonewall Columbus Community Center, 1160 N High St, 614.299.7764, www.stonewallcolumbus.org: An information and application session for joining the Columbus Police. No, donuts are not provided. 1p; free.

Calling all Bears!
The 2nd Annual Out Of Hibernation Bear Party @ Exile, 893 N 4th St, 614.299.0069, www.exilebar.com: Featuring Bear Magazine Model Dru Bruin, 3 different contests Best Ass, Best Chest/Hairy Chest, Best Bulge, and Jello shots. 9p; free.

SUNDAY, MARCH 6
Shakespeare, In Less Time Than An Episode of ‘Lost’
A Midsummer Night’s Dream @ The Lincoln Theatre, 769 E Long St, www.capa.com: OSU and The Royal Shakespeare Company (RSC – yes, the RSC) present a 60-minute version of the classic comedy. It’s educational, it’s famous, and it’s short. 1p and 3p; $12.

MONDAY, MARCH 7
Oh, Rick
$2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, 614.224.4050, www.clubdiversity.com: It’s almost spring. The seasons are changing. Your sinuses are killing you. Alcohol is the cure. $2 well drinks all night. 4p; NO COVER.

TUESDAY, MARCH 8
…And Mom, And Dad, And Fido…
The Expy Awards @ Greater Columbus Convention Center, 400 N High St, 614.827.2500, www.columbusconventions.com: Honor the Experience Columbus Expy Award recipients — organizations that have generated a more vibrant and distinct experience for visitors and residents of Greater Columbus, including Jack Hanna’s “Into the Wild”, McDonald’s All American High School Basketball Games, North American Gay Amateur Athletic Association’s Gay Softball World Series, and the Wex21 Campaign Coming of Age. 11a – 1:15p; $90 (non-member).

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9
Wire Coat Hangers: The Original Condom
Network Columbus @ KDB Easton, 165 Easton Town Center, www.kdbeaston.com: Join the members of Network Columbus, central Ohio’s progressive GLBT networking group, for a special networking event and celebration of JOAN CRAWFORD’S 103rd (or maybe 106th, but probably her 107th) BIRTHDAY. Not, perhaps, coincidentally, it’s also the 107th anniversary of the invention of the wire coat hanger. No joke. 6p; free.

THURSDAY, MARCH 10
My Favorite Kind Of Truth
The Naked Truth @ Shadowbox, Easton Towne Center, 614.416.7625, www.shadowboxlive.org: Sure, it started in January, ends in March, and plays every weekend. We just thought we’d sneak it into the middle of your month. 7:30p (additional 10:30p showtimes on Fridays and Saturdays); $30.

FRIDAY, MARCH 11
Hockey Is Sooo Gay
Pride Night with the Blue Jackets @ Nationwide Arena, 200 W Nationwide Blvd, www.stonewallcolumbus.org: Nothin’ like a little stick action. Show your pride and stay after the Blue Jackets game to catch Gay Hockey Ohio’s Mayhem defeat the Chicago Black Wolves. Everyone in attendance will even receive a Rick Nash bobble-head and a Blue Jackets Hat! Make sure to get your tickets through Stonewall – a portion of ticket sales will go back to them and Gay Hockey Ohio! 7p; $35.

SATURDAY, MARCH 12
I’ll Take My Schadenfreude on Wheels, Thank You.
Ohio Roller Girls v. NEO Roller Derby @ Ohio Expo Center, 717 E. 17th Ave, 614.477.7243, www.ohiorollergirls.com: It’s the Season Opener for Roller Derby, and I’m scared to think what kinda bitches are made in Akron(NEO). 5p, $15.

Where’s Jimmy? He’s Been Whacked! He’ll Be Right Back…
Whacked at the Winery, Murder Mystery Dinner @ Wyandotte Winery, 4640 Wyandotte Drive, 614.476.3624, www.wyandottewinery.com: Dinner provided by Carfagna’s, a bottle of the Wine per couple, and entertainment lead by the Sleuth Mystery Players. 7:30-10p, $60.

SUNDAY, MARCH 13
Spring… Back? Ahead? What?
Daylight Savings Time @ everywhere: It’s that time again. Literally. Only this time, you’re gonna be one cranky homo. Set those clocks forward one hour. You’re gonna hate yourself in the morning. 2a.

Not A Sexy World of Warcraft Reference
Pleasure Guild presents “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” @ The Palace Theatre, 34 W Broad St, 614.469.9850, www.capa.com: To raise funds for central Ohio’s only pediatric hospice and palliative care program, “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” will be presented by Pleasure Guild of Nationwide Children’s Hospital March 11, 12 and 13 at Columbus’ historic Palace Theatre. The annual family-friendly, Broadway-quality production benefits children for whom a cure is beyond reach. 2p; $15 – 27.

MONDAY, MARCH 14
Up and Evenatom
Gene Friley: All About Evenatom @ Dublin Arts Council, 7125 Riverside Dr, Dublin, 614.889.7444, www.dublinarts.org: Friley has a BFA and MFA, an engineering degree in ceramics, served as a WWII bombardier on a B-29, and this exhibit showcases his innovative uses of ceramic materials, figurative forms, and playful designs exploring themes as diverse, yet intertwined and compelling, as black holes and Einstein’s formulae. Through Apr 22.

TUESDAY, MARCH 15
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby. Or Homophobia In The Workplace, Baby.
Men’s Discussion Group @ Stonewall Columbus Community Center, 1160 N High St, 614.299.7764, www.stonewallcolumbus.org: Want to meet new people? Want to discuss topics pertinent to being a gay man? Well, then have we got the discussion group for you. 7p; free.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16
You Mean… We Have One?
Ohio’s New Budget @ Athletic Club of Columbus, 136 E Broad St, www.columbusmetroclub.org: John Begala and Allen Proctor speak on the budget and how it may or may not be good for Ohio. Maybe it’s neutral. We can only have the highest of hopes. 12p; $18 – 28.

THURSDAY, MARCH 17
Did I Mention That My Penis Is Irish?
St. Patrick’s Day @ Every Bar (especially the Irish ones): Outlook starts at 5:30a. That’s right. All day; The price of a Guinness.

Family Reunion
Parade and St. Patrick’s Day Family Renunion @ Veterans Memorial, 614.491.4449, 300 W Broad St, www.shamrockclubofcolumbus.com: The last leprechaun has Paraded by and you’re still pissing green, give your Irish belly a hearty traditional meal. After the Parade. $7–12.

FRIDAY, MARCH 18
I Like My Theatre Like I Like My Men: Flexible
4th Annual Flex Series @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, 614.224.4050, www.rtheatre.org: Entitled Elephant in the Room, this year’s series of short plays is sure to delight (and maybe arouse). Come see the hottest new acts in town. And, if you’re short on time, just see half of the show! That’s the joy of Flex. Runs through April 2. 7:30p; $15 (whole show), $10 (either half).

Theater People Do It For 30 Minutes In 3 Scenarios
3 in 30: Shadows @ MadLab, 227 N 3rd St, 614.221.5418, www.madlab.net: Madlab’s monthly presentation of short works, to follow the evening’s performance of A Shadow In The Dark. 10:30p; $5.

SATURDAY, MARCH 19
Pistils and Pupae
Blooms & Butterflies @ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E Broad St, 614.645.8733, www.fpconservatory.org: Experience the emergence of exotic butterflies and watch their release into the Franklin Park Conservatory’s Pacific Island Water Garden. Dozens of species from around the world, and hands-on activities are featured. Daily starting at 10a through Aug 14. $11 adults, $9 seniors and students, $6 kids.

SUNDAY, MARCH 20
Beware: Gay Geeks Be Here
S.P.A.C.E. @ Ramada Plaza Hotel & Conference Center, 4900 Sinclair Road, www.backporchcomics.com/space: Small press? Comics?! Experience Ohio’s most underrated artistic event: the Small Press And Comics Expo. Plus, you can meet a few of the local artists from around town (and those other parts of Ohio we don’t speak of). 10a – 6p (Saturday), 11a – 5p (Sunday); $8 (weekend), $5 (day pass).

MONDAY, MARCH 21
The Only Test You Want To Take
HIV Testing @ Stonewall Columbus Community Center, 1160 N High St, 614.299.7764 www.stonewallcolumbus.org: It’s free. It helps you stay that way, too. Free condoms, ‘nuff said. 1p; free.

TUESDAY, MARCH 22
Musclemen in Tights
WWE SmackDown @ Nationwide Arena, 200 W Nationwide Blvd, 800.745.3000, www.nationwidearena.com: Where else can you watch hot men flex, show off, yell, and generally express their hostility, machismo, and mating calls while wearing little more than tights? Ok, Chris Hayes’ apartment excluded. No where. So go see them at Nationwide. 6:45p, $17-62.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 23
It’s Called A LevelTini Because By The End Of The Night, You’re On The Ground
LevelTini Night @ Level Dining Lounge, 700 N High St, 614.754.1342, www.levelcolumbus.com: $5 Apples & Oranges, $5 Cosmopolitan, $5 Raspberry Bellinitini and $5 White Vineyard. Starts at 4p; NO COVER.

THURSDAY, MARCH 24
What’s That, Cocktail? You Need To Be Inside Of Me?
Cocktails at the Conservatory @ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E Broad St, 614.645.8733, www.fpconservatory.org: Chihuly. Booze. Together, we reach an understanding of both. Too zen for you? Then just drink your hooch and kiss a stranger. 5:30p – 10p; $11 admission (gets you $10 in drink tokens).

FRIDAY, MARCH 25
10 Years. That’s Tin, Right?
NINA’S Playhouse @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, www.columbusnightlife.com: Celebrate Nina’s 10th. Ten years of Nina in drag… that’s a record or something, right? March 25 – 27; Details TBA.

SATURDAY, MARCH 26
I Told You, No Threesomes
Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner? @ The Lincoln Theatre, 769 E Long St, www.bravo-ohio.org: The international (ok, maybe city-wide) night of mystery. Begin at The Historic Lincoln Theatre for a cocktail reception, and then flit off into the night to a destination unknown for a dinner with strangers! All the makings of a great murder mystery. Oops, I hope no sociopaths read this. 6p; $125 (dinner and reception), $40 (reception only).

Don’t Tell Mom
Secret Cinema @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: Everybody’s favorite movie they’ve never heard of and won’t have heard of until after the credits! It’s the anticipation that counts. 7p; $3.

SUNDAY, MARCH 27
Cold Hands?
Rent @ Shadowbox Live, 164 Easton Town Center, 614.416.7625, www.shadowboxlive.org: Check out every homo’s favorite Broadway show right here in town! March 6 – April 17 (every Sunday), 2:30p and 7p, $30, $20 (students & seniors).

MONDAY, MARCH 28
Get Your Motor Running
30-Year Ride: Honda’s Ohio-Made Motorcycles @ 13515 Yarmouth Dr., Pickerington, 43147, 614.856.2222 www.motorcyclemuseum.org: 30-Year Ride: Honda’s Ohio-Made Motorcycles showcases 30 years of significant Honda motorcycles manufactured in Marysville, Ohio. 9a-5p; $3-$10.

TUESDAY, MARCH 29
Delicious And Informative
Experience Columbus Open House @ Lindey’s, 169 Beck St, www.lindeys.com: Cash bar and networking! A match made in heaven. Join the staff of Experience Columbus for informative tables on marketing, events, conventions, the sports commission, and more. 5:30p – 7:30p; free (mem), $10 (non).

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30
Hint: Scandal
What The Butler Saw @ Verne Riffe Center’s Studio One Theatre, 77 S High St, 614.469.1045, www.capa.com: Farce or tragedy? Sounds like Lindsay Lohan might be involved. All the makings of a good comedy, and then someone set it in a psychiatric ward. Runs through April 17. 11a (Wed), 8p (Thu-Sat), 2p (Sun); $11 – $39.50.

THURSDAY, MARCH 31
This Turns Me On… In An Uncomfortable Way
Double Sexus @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: Hans Bellmer and Louise Bourgeois. Two of the more uncomfortably erotic artists of our time. Is it a penis? Or a mutant from a 90’s cartoon show? The world may never know. Runs through July 31. $5.

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TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 1
No Nick Cannon Required
Drumline Live @ The Palace Theatre, 34 W Broad St, 614.469.9850, www.capa.com: Everyone likes a man in uniform. Catch this 39-member marching band in a show-stopping attraction created by the music team behind the movie! 7:30p; $27.50 – $42.50.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 2
Electric Cars Might Drive our Future
Columbus Metropolitan Club @ Athletic Club of Columbus, 136 E Broad St, www.columbusmetroclub.org: Giorgio Rizonni, Director of The Center for Automotive Research or “CAR” at The Ohio State University will be joined by John Pohill, Venturi North America CEO, Ram Sastry, Director of Distribution Research and Technology at AEP and Brandon Perkins Project Manager at ODOT’s Office of Innovation, Partnerships and Energy to discuss the potential and the reality of electric cars in our transportation, infrastructure and economic future. 12p; $15-$28.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 3
Paint the Town Red
National Wear Red Sale @ Macy’s, all locations: As is the tradition of all first Fridays in February, and in honor of American Heart Month and National Wear Red Day (February 4^th), customers wearing anything red will receive a special 20% discount on a wide assortment of merchandise. Through Feb 6.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 4
Hey College Kids!
Fusion Friday @ Capital University, Capital’s Campus Center, 745 Pleasant Ridge, www.stonewallcolumbus.org: Fusion Friday, a monthly program of Stonewall Columbus, is hosted at Capital University this month. Music, food, games, safe sex demo, and performances by our hosts Alexis Stevens and Dexter Wilde! This is a great opportunity for young LGBTQA adults of Columbus for building community in a safe fun environment. 7p-10p;

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 5
Like Any Good Drag Show…
Cinderella @ Capitol Theatre, 77 S High St, 614.469.0939, www.balletmet.org: It’s romantic and it’s charming. Check out BalletMet’s production of Cinderlla. Why not? It had a happy ending. Not that kind. Through 13. 2p&8p; $28, $30, $39, $48.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 6
Muscled Men in Uniforms Playing With Skin? Could It Be – ?!
Super Bowl Party & Chili Cook-off @ Cavan Irish Pub, 1409 S High St, www.cavanirishpub.com: It is indeed time for the Super Bowl (again). But what better way to spend the holiday than with other gays? Be your own sassy sportscasters. Maybe get a little action. 5p; free.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 7
Blah Blah
Forum at Ohio State @ Ohio State Law Building, 55 W 12th Ave, Room 246, www.osu.edu: Gillian Martin Sorensen, former United Nations Assistant Secretary-General for External Relations (now Senior Advisor at the United Nations Foundation), will be addressing international human rights in a forum for OSU law students, faculty and interested lawyers. 12:10p – 1:30p.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 8
Show Her Love! Get it?
Robyn @ LC Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave, 614.461.5483, www.promowestlive.com: She’s funky and not just because her name is spelled with a Y. Girl proved she wasn’t a two-hit wonder in the late 90s. She’s been quietly building a huge fan base. And hey, she even made a cameo on Gossip Girl! 7p; Indoors; $15.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 9
Like a Circus, Only Kind Of Sexy
Cirque du Soleil: Dralion @ Schottenstein Center, 555 Borror Dr, 614.688.3939, www.schottensteincenter.com: Internationally known, check out Cirque’s latest spectacle to grace the presence of good ol’ CBus. 7:30p; $35 – $95.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 10
My Favorite Kind Of Truth
The Naked Truth @ Shadowbox, Easton Towne Center, 614.416.7625, www.shadowboxlive.org: Sure, it started in January, ends in March, and plays every weekend. We just thought we’d sneak it into the middle of your month. Why? Shadowbox always makes a classy Valentine’s date. At least the pitchers of Freak will help you get through it. 7:30p (additional 10:30p showtimes on Fridays and Saturdays); $30.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11
Chong Rhymes With…
Cheech & Chong @ Palace Theatre, 34 W Broad St, 614.469.9850, www.capa.com: You should, uh, “celebrate” before (and after, really) seeing this show. It’s only right. 8p; $37 – $57.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 12
Even Better Is Single With Bitters
Single and Bitter @ Union Café, 782 N High St, 614.421.2233, www.columbusnightlife.com: Find out what antics Nina West and company are into this time… Cohosting with Anisa Love. 10:30p; free.

Get Your Heart On
Hearts Party @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, www.columbusnightlife.com: Immediately following Single and Bitter, get in on this special hot spot performance from Ms. West celebrating Valentine’s Day. 11:30p; free.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 13
‘Lincoln Log’ Is Actually Double Entendre
Abraham Lincoln Re-enactor @ The Ohio Statehouse, 1 Capitol Square, 614.752.9777, www.ohiostatehouse.org: In celebration of the 150 year anniversary of Lincoln’s visit to the Ohio Statehouse, a nationally renowned Lincoln re-enactor will pay a visit. Words cannot describe how excited intern Mack is. 2p; free (but RSVP required online).

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 14
V-Day
Valentine’s Day @ Everywhere: Single and alone? Why, I have these three strapping gentlemen to keep me company. I don’t know why I’d be sad! Free (unless you want an escort).

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 15
Yummy for the Tummy
Farmers Market @ Pearl Market, 33 North Third St, www.downtowncolumbus.com/pearlmarket: Set in the middle of the hustle and bustle of downtown Columbus, the Winter Pearl Market offers a unique opportunity when it moves indoors during through February. Nestled inside 33 N Third St, right next to Lynn Alley, shoppers can purchase seasonal produce from the farmers who grew it, baked goods, jewelry, handcrafted and one-of-a-kind gift items and much more. 10:30a-2p; free.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 16
Sounds Like a Boy I Used to Know
Mixed Messages: A Study in Texture and Image @ Studios on High, 686 N High Street, 614.461.648, www.studiosonhigh.com: Mixed media artist, Marty Husted presents new assemblages of her whimsical landscapes. Fiber artist, Deb Johnson creates abstract wearables from deconstructed textiles. Exhibit runs through February 28.  Free parking in the back! 12p-6p; free.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 17
Where’s Immigration When You Need Them?
Crossing The Blvd: Strangers, Neighbors, Aliens In A New America @ OSU Urban Arts Space, 50 W Town St, 614.292.8861, uas.osu.edu: The artists started the project in 1999 when they began conducting workshops for new immigrants to recount their experiences. Eleven years later, Crossing the BLVD has grown into a multifaceted documentation, consisting of an award-winning book, CD, website, performances, public radio documentaries, and traveling exhibition.  11a-8p; free.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18
I Wish It Wasn’t His Legs Moving That Fast
Riverdance @ Palace Theatre, 34 W Broad St, 614.469.9850, www.capa.com: That crazy leg-flailing sensation is back in town! And don’t even act like you’re too good to see it… 8p; $22.50, $42.50, $62.50.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 19
I Need Milk!
Fiery Foods Weekend @ North Market, 59 Spruce St, 614.463.9664, www.northmarket.com: Melt away the mid-winter monotony with special vendors, fiery foods cooking and eating contests, kids activities and live music! 8a-5p; free.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 20
Like Any Good Drag Show… But With More Tears
I Am My Own Wife @ Verne Riffe Center’s Studio Two Theatre, 77 S High St, 614.469.1045, www.capa.com: The stirring, Tony Award winning one man play about Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, a transgendered person, who lived through the horrors of pre- and post-World War II Germany. How did she survive, and manage to create a safe space for GLBT people from these regimes? Last day. 2p; $32-39.50.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 21
A Common Mistake
She’s A Boy I Knew @ Gateway Film Center, 1550 N High St, www.gatewayfilmcenter.com: Using archival family footage, interviews, phone messages, and hand-drawn animation, the documentary begins in 2000 with Steven Haworth’s decision to… Part of the Transgender Film Series in partnership with TransOhio. Various showtimes; $6.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 22
Woman Conceived and Birthed a Play. Cut Her Some Slack.
Let Me Down Easy @ Lincoln Theatre, 769 East Long St, www.wexarts.org: Anna Deavere Smith, theatrical goddess behind Fires in the Mirror and general uplifting and inspirational messages to young artists everywhere, brings her new one-woman show to CBus. Performances on February 22 – 27. 8p; $20, $42, or $48.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 23
Where’s Immigration When You Need Them?
Crossing The Blvd: Strangers, Neighbors, Aliens In A New America @ OSU Urban Arts Space, 50 W Town St, 614.292.8861, uas.osu.edu: The artists started the project in 1999 when they began conducting workshops for new immigrants to recount their experiences. Eleven years later, Crossing the BLVD has grown into a multifaceted documentation, consisting of an award-winning book, CD, website, performances, public radio documentaries, and traveling exhibition. 11a-8p; free.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 24
Gett’n’ Slithered
3-4-3 @ Level Dining Lounge, 700 N High St, 614.754.1342, www.levelcolumbus.com: Three Olive Vodkas special – $3 all flavors, $4 flavored Three Olive Long Islands, and/or $3 Long Islands. All day, free.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 25
Aw, He’s At Least Cute Enough For A Second Time
Vox: One Hit Wonders @ Columbus Performing Arts Center, 549 Franklin Avenue, www.cgmc.com: Remember all of those songs you couldn’t get out of your head? No? Well, that’s because you repressed that memory, thank Beyonce. But Vox will make sure you spend the next three weeks walking around with the “Who Let The Dogs Out?” playing in your mind. Same time, same place on February 26. 8p; $20.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 26
End it Right
Martinis @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, 614.224.4050, clubdiversity.com: Finish out February with the best martinis in town. 4p; free.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 27
It’s Fun To Play At…
Male Dancers @ Exile, 893 N 4th St, 614.299.0069, www.exilebar.com: Bring your dollars and feel up some strippers at your favorite neighborhood hangout. 10p; free.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 28
Dig Out The Plaid, Ladies
God-des & She @ Wall Street Nightclub, 144 N Wall Street, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: A special performance by the duo. Watch as lesbians migrate from across the rustic landscape of central Ohio to be there. Huh-? Why’s the water in my cup shaking? 9p; $12.

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SATURDAY, JANUARY 1

CMA! Cover Your Shame!

Grand Opening @ Columbus Museum of Art, 480 E. Broad St, 614.221.6801, www.columbusmuseum.org: All those ribbons and curtains come down, and we finally get to see our beloved art museum naked again. Hot times. Speaking of hot times, they’re serving hot cocoa at this community celebration. Free hot, chocolately deliciousness on a Saturday morning? Boom, I’m there. 10a-5:30p; free.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 2

Flesh & Blondes

Strippers @ Exile, 893 N 4^th St, 614.299.0069, exilebar.com: Start off the new year nakedly. 10p; free.

MONDAY, JANUARY 3

Speak Easy

Artists Talk: George Rush @ Wexner Center, 1871 N. High St., 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: George Rush, a new assistant professor in the painting and drawing program of Ohio State’s Department of Art, talks about his recent work. Rush previously taught at Yale School of Art, Vassar College, Rhode Island School of Design, Columbia University, and the University of Tennessee and was a 2004 New York Foundation for the Arts Fellow in painting. 4p; free.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 4

Aw, Dishin’ the Goods!

Columbus Symphony Chorus Auditions @ The Ohio Theater, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, www.columbussymphony.com: Auditions will be held for vocalists to participate in the Symphony’s performances of Verdi’s Requiem. Anyone interested should go to the website and click “auditions” for details.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 5

The Top

Pinnacle Night @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, 614.224.4050, clubdiversity.com: Mmmm whipped cream. $3-$6 Pinnacle vodka specials all nite, as well as, $2 Bud Light & Miller Lite bottle or $5 draft pint or pitchers(until 9p). 4p; free.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 6

Ballroom And Maybe A Little Viennese Waltz Too?

@ Stonewall Columbus Center on High, 1160 N High St, 614.299.7764, www.stonewallcolumbus.org: A new 6-week Ballroom class will begin with both beginner and intermediate classes available. You may register and pay at the first class with cash or check or pay online. 6:30p (beginner), 7:30p (intermediate); $30 per person, $50 per couple.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 7

Not Pornography, Though the Name Could Be a Falcon Title

Russian Masters #1 @ The Ohio Theater, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: The Columbus Symphony presents the first installment of this sweeping survey of Russian composers. Nothing screams ‘January’ like Mother Russia. Runs through January 8. 8p; $18-$64.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 8

Pants Down

Caught in the Act…Again! @ The Columbus Performing Arts Center, 549 Franklin Ave., 614.645.7469: An evening of short plays conceived, written, and performed within 48 hours. More than three dozen theatre artists will gather from around the country – scripts will be written overnight and the top plays will be selected and staged in the culmination of this exciting weekend! $12-15.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 9

Sing Me A Song Pianoman

Seth Gibson & Co @ Wall Street, 144 N High St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Come check out the talent of this pianist/vocalist. If you like it get drunk, if you don’t, get drunk. 6p-9p; $4.

MONDAY, JANUARY 10

Irish is as Irish Does

Happy Hour @ Cavans, 1409 S High St, 614.725.5502, cavanirishpub.com: Drink like the Irish. $1.50 domestic, $1 PBR draft, $3 16oz draft, $4 20oz draft, $2 well drinks and $3 call drinks. 2p-8p; free.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 11

I Love Vodka

Skyy Night @ Score Bar, 145 N 5th St, 614.849.0099, www.scorebarcolumbus.com: $3 Skyy Vodka. Cheap date.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 12

Ski Cabins are the Number Two Cruising Spot, After Berliner Park

Network Columbus @ Aspen Ski and Board, 1175 Old Henderson Rd, www.networkcolumbus.com: Join the members of Network Columbus, central Ohio’s progressive GLBT networking group, for a networking event and speakers concerning 2011 Gay Ski Weekends. 6p; free.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 13

Children are Tomorrow’s Oil

Just Kids @ The Columbus Performing Arts Center, 549 Franklin Ave, www.avltheatre.com: Written and performed by Sean Christopher Lewis, the same man who devised the acclaimed Killadelphia, returns to Available Light Theatre with a new show. After spending time teaching mentally-troubled youth, Sean is confronted with unsolved issues left by his estranged father. Through Jan 22. 8p; PAY WHAT YOU WANT.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 14

Viva La Theatre!

Cinema Latino @ Wexner Center, 1871 N. High St.,  614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org. The evening begins with this year’s Camera d’Or prize at the Cannes Film Festival, Leap Year. Stay for The Ship of Monsters, a comical tale of female aliens from Venus hunting men. The Ship of Monsters has it all – surreal rubber-suited monsters galore, blood-sucking space beauties in swimsuits, and a robot in love with a jukebox. Beam me up! 7p, $5-$7.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 15

Happy Birthday Ginger!

Outlook Co-Publisher Chris Hayes Turns 38 @ various locations…

Not to be Confused with ‘Grand Funk Railroading’

Grand Funk Railroad @ Vets Memorial Center, 300 W Broad St, 614.221.4341, www.fcvm.com: Join us for an evening of great entertainment at the Easter Seals Holiday Party. Listen to great bands, meet celebrities, bid on items in the silent auction, enter the 50/50 raffle and more, all benefiting Easter Seals! Concerts by Grand Funk Railroad, McGuffey Lane, The Brave Youngsters, and Oblivion Fire. Doors open at 5:30p; $25+.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 16

What’s all that racket?

STOMP @ The Palace Theatre, 34 W Broad St, 614.469.9850: Trash cans = art. 7p; $39-$69.

MONDAY, JANUARY 17

Martin Luther King Day

Open House @ The King Arts Complex Theatre, 867 Mount Vernon Ave, 614.645.KING (5464), www.thekingartscomplex.com: Featuring choral and dance performances and a 1p address by Ohio State University football legend Archie Griffin. 12p-4p; free.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 18

Not A Trip To The Andersons

The Magnificent Ambersons @ Wexner Center, 1871 N. High St., 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: While his debut Citizen Kane is usually ranked as the greatest film of all time, Welles’s second film, The Magnificent Ambersons (made when he was all of 27-years-old), remains one of the most strikingly beautiful and technically innovative films to ever come out of Hollywood. 7p; $5-$7.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 19

Get In Touch With Your Inner Jasmine

Disney On Ice Princess Classics @ Nationwide Arena, 200 W Nationwide Blvd, 614.246.2000, www.ticketmaster.com: It’s like a drag show at Union, only a little more kid-friendly. The show runs multiple days, but head in today and you’ll get an opening night discount. 7p; $17.35- $50.05.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20

Drink It In @ Wexner Center, 1871 N. High St., 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: How exactly do you pair wine with contemporary art? Find out by taking an in-depth, engaging exploration of Six Solos then join Donnie Austin, owner of House Wine in Worthington, for a tasting of six wines, each chosen to “pair” with one of the exhibitions. Advance registration is required. 7p; $10-12.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 21

Ah 1812… When Canada Brought America to its Knees

Russian Masters #2 @ The Ohio Theater, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: The continuation of CSO’s series on Russian composers. The subject this time? The 1812 Overture. You know the one, it’s the soundtrack that every orgy that should be set to. Runs through January 22. 8p; $18 – $64.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 22

White Out

White Material @ Wexner Center, 1871 N. High St., 614.292.3535, www.wexarts.org: White Material, a complex depiction of a troubled continent, sees Claire Denis, one of the most significant filmmakers working today, team up with one of cinema’s greatest actresses: Isabelle Huppert.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 23

There Will Be Vodka

Arkadiy Gips and Friends – Russian Romance @ The Bluestone, 583 E Broad St, www.citymusiccolumbus.com: And you thought we were kidding about Mother Russia. Do be sure to appease her by attending at least one of the musical tributes to her this month. 2p; $23. 7p. $5-7.

MONDAY, JANUARY 24

National ‘Screw It’ Day

Give up on your New Year’s Resolutions! @ Everywhere: Okay, you made a good show of it. You bought a gym membership, you spent a single day with the family, and you even brushed your teeth every now and again. Now quietly drop the act so no one notices, and stop beating yourself up over failure. All day; free.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 25

Sing… Sing a Song…

Karaoke @ Traffik Bar & Nightclub, 205 N. Fifth St, 614.222.2401, facebook.com/pages/Trafik-Bar-Nightclub: Request something, then get up and sing it. Try not to suck. 10p; free.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 26

No, it’s not Madonna

RAIN @ The Palace Theatre, 34 W Broad St, 614.469.9850: RAIN, the acclaimed Beatles concert, returns by popular demand! They look like them and they sound just like them. 7:30p; $27-$57.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 27

I Once Met a Long Long. I was Disappointed.

Lang Lang @ The Ohio Theater, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, www.capa.com: Picture the typical piano prodigy. On steroids and tequila. Now try and tell me that doesn’t sound like a good time. 8p; $35 – $95.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 28

Just Picture Them With Less Pant

Dark Star Orchestra @ Newport Music Hall, 1722 N High St, 614.294.1659, www.promowestlive.com: It’s like seeing Pink Floyd, only not quite. 8p; $28.25.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 29

Step 3: Make Her Open The Box

5th Annual Ginger’s Mystery Box @ Wall Street Nightclub, 144 N Wall St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Burlesque in one hand, a good cause in the other…put your hands together. Come see the hottest burlesque show around and help support the Equality Ohio Education Fund in the process. There will also be thousands in prizes, raffle baskets, a photo booth, caricatures, sweets from Pattycake Bakery and more! Tickets are available at Wall Street, Wholly Craft!, and online. $5 presale, $7 day of, $40 table; Doors 8p, Show 9p.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 30

America’s Got Talent… sort of

Karaoke Nite @ Level Dining Lounge, 700 N High St, 614.754.1342, www.levelcolumbus.com: Drink $12 Long Island pitchers till you think you sound good, then sing. 10p; free.

MONDAY, JANUARY 31

Go Get Laid

Sexin’ @ Club Columbus, 795 W 5th Ave, 614.291.0049, the-clubs.com: It’s cold out, what else you going to do? $12-$30.

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MONDAY, NOVEMBER 1
I Don’t Like Mondays, I Wanna Shoot Them Down
$2 Bitchy Mondays @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, 614.224.4050, www.clubdiversity.com: $2 well drinks all night; Starts at 4p.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2
Just Start Chanting “We Want Claire! We Want Claire!”
30 Seconds to Mars @ Lifestyle Communities Pavilion, 405 Neil Ave, www.promowestlive.com: He may be the Thirty Second front man, but we’ll never forget Jared Leto as the dreamy Jordan Catalano from “My So-Called Life.” However you love him – and you know you do – see them live on an otherwise mundane Tuesday. 6:30p; $30.75.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 3
Hips Don’t Lie
Bombay Bellywood @ Lincoln Theatre, 769 E Long St, www.capa.com: Catch the world’s premiere belly dance troupe doing what they do best. 8p; $38.30 & $47.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 4
All I Can Think Of Are The Commercials That ALWAYS Come On During “The Price is Right”
Pride Comes in All Ages: A Conversation with AARP Ohio @ Stonewall Columbus Center on High, 1160 N High St, www.stonewallcolumbus.org: Join Stonewall Columbus and AART Ohio in a conversation on LGBT aging. Through an open exchange of ideas you can discover new way of ensuring that our LGBT citizens and their needs are equally represented and considered within the AART organization. 6:30p; free.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 5
Get It? Get It?
Plastic Pleasure @ Columbus Performing Arts Center, 549 Franklin Ave, www.amerifluff.com: Plastic Pleasure will star Anna The Annadroid and feature an army of her virtual clones, The Annadroids. In this one-woman show, she tells a twisted story through original music, dance, aerial dance and surreal video projections. Kelli Martin of Project Runway will be creating a beautiful costume collection for this production. This is Anna’s farewell performance. Nov 5 & 6, 8p; $10 (adv), $15 (door).

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 6
Go Green! With Envy…
Green Gala @ Columbus Athenaeum, 32 North Fourth St, www.theoec.org: Join the Ohio Environmental Council Board, staff, members and Ohio’s environmental-conservation community to celebrate the power of green! Enjoy a full evening of dinner, cocktails and a silent auction to honor the winners of the 2010 Environmental Achievements Awards. 6p – 9p; $50 (members), $75 (non-members, includes one-year membership), $450 (table of ten).

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 7
Elbow, Wrist, Elbow, Wrist
Miss Wallstreet Pageant 2011 @ Wallstreet Nightclub, 144 N Wall Street, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Strut your stuff for a chance to win $1,000 in cash and prizes. Embrace the theme “glitz and glamour” however you want! The contest is open to the first 10-15 girls you register, so get on it. 8p – 1:30a; $5 cover (free for contestants); $30 table (seats 4-5).

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 8
I Think its Welsh…
Next @ Wex @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.3535, wexarts.org: This popular series introduces young indie scene music innovators in our intimate black box venues and welcomes breakout bands to larger theaters. First up is The Joy Formidable, a Welsh trio now based in London, have built an international buzz with darkly ominous fuzz-toned slabs of sound riding sugar-sweet melodies. Mon, Nov 8, 2010 @ 9:00p in the Performance Space at the Wexner Center. Tickets are $12 at the Center.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 9
You Break it, You Bought It
Masayuki Miyajima: Refined Function @ DAC Main Gallery, 7125 Riverside Dr, Dublin, 614.889.7444, www.dublinarts.org: a solo exhibition of Japanese ceramics. The exhibition opens with a reception for the artists at DAC on Tues., Nov. 9 from 6p-8p. Show Nov 9-Dec 17.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 10
Just Don’t Feed Them…
Biker Bear Happy Hour @ Tradewinds II, 117 E Chestnut St, 614.461.4110, www.tradewindsii.com: A happy and hairy time with the Columbus Ursine Brotherhood and their bear, cub and admiring friends; Happy hour from 4p-9p; No cover.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 11
That Thing Needs Rewritten Anyway…
The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told @ Trafick Bar & Nightclub, 205 N Fifth St, www.facebook.com/olympictheatreproductions: High camp. Comedy. I’m sold. Hop on over to Trafik for this gay retelling of the Bible for the first act, while the second act flashes forward to a Christmas party in Chelsea. 7p – 10p; $15 (single), $25 (half table for 2), $50 (full table for four).

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 12
Not They Blow…
The Blow with Melissa Dyne @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, 614.292.3535, wexarts.org: Khaela Maricich, who performs delightfully wry, lo-fi electro-pop under the name the Blow, returns to the Wexner Center with a special show that furthers her keen interest in boundary-blurring performance cabaret with a shimmying beat. 9p; $12.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 13
Just keep saying “Wake up, wake up!”
Nightmare at Shadowbox 2 @ Shadowbox Live, Easton Towne Center, 614.416.7625, shadowboxlive.org: This Fall Shadowbox Live turns tricks and treats into fright night with its newest theme Nightmare at Shadowbox. Original sketch comedy and live rock ‘n’ roll will give you thrills, chills, and a glimpse into the dreamscape we call nightmares. Tickets are $30

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 14
Papa Was A Rolling Stone…
CAPA presents The Temptations @ The Ohio Theater, 39 E State St, 614.469.0939, www.ticketmaster.com: Working my way back to you…Tempting, very tempting. 7p; $20-$50.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 15
Hey, Gargoyle!
Service Industry Night @ Level Dining Lounge, 700 N High St, 614.754.1342, www.levelcolumbus.com: $1 Domestic Draft, $2 Domestic Bottle, $3 Well Cocktails, Complimentary Nacho Bar. Starts at 9p.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 16
Dirty Rotten Bastards!
Dirty Rotten Imbeciles (DRI) @ Newport Music Hall, 1772 N. High St, 614.294.1659, www.promowestlive.com/venues: Punk rock legends Dirty Rotten Imbeciles perform a rare local show at the Newport. 7p; $13 (adv), $16 (door).

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 17
Who Wants a Threesome?
3 Wise Men Night @ Exile, 893 N 4^th St, 614.299.0069, exilebar.com: The cheapest three-way you’ve had this year… or is it? $3.50 Jack, Jim or Jose. 4p; free.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 18
Blow Job
Hot Glass Studio Nights
@ Franklin Park Conservatory, 1777 E Broad St: Working alongside gaffers at the Conservatory Hot Shop, create your own colorful piece of blown glass artwork. No previous glassblowing experience is necessary. This week, make a holiday candy bowl! Advance registration required by the Monday prior to each Thursday class and the cost is $72-80 for each session.

Remember
Columbus – Transgender Day of Remembrance @ King Avenue United Methodist Church, 299 King Ave: Come to this vigil to remember our lost community members. 7p; free.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 19
Don’t Forget to Have Them Spayed and Neutered!
CATS* @ The Palace Theatre, 34 W Broad St, 614.469.9850: Based on T.S. Eliot’s Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats, and with music by Andrew Lloyd Webber, CATS won seven 1983 Tony Awards including Best Musical, Best Book of a Musical, Best Lighting and Best Costumes. Meow. Nov 19-21. 8p; $45-$80.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 20
A Day to Remember
International Transgender Day of Remembrance is set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder in 1998 kicked off the “Remembering Our Dead” web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 21
Music and Passion Are Always in Fashion At…
Latin Dance Night @ Wall Street, 144 N High St, 614.464.2800, www.wallstreetnightclub.com: Every month on the first, second and third Sundays. Pretend you know how to salsa at 8p.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 22
I Think The Title Pretty Much Covers It…
The Puppet Queers in Holiday Thongs @ Club Diversity, 863 S High St, www.clubdiversity.com: Naughty puppets. Get your tickets fast! This show sells out every year. Nov 22 -24; 7:30p; $12 (adv), $15 (door).

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 23
It’s All In the Twist
Torso Tuesday @ Havana, 862 N High St, 614.421.9697, www.columbusnightlife.com: Shirts not required. Hotness encouraged. 10p; free.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 24
The Road to Perdition
Heaven and Hell Dance Party @ Wall Street, 144 Wall St. www.wallstreetnightclub.com: The season’s biggest dance party! Perfect way to exercise before the Tet Offensive for your digestive system that is Thanksgiving! 9p-4a.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 25
Gobble x 3
Thanksgiving @ Grandma’s! Okay, Thanksgiving at Grandma’s isn’t a necessity, but the food is just so much better. Toss aside qualms of saving your girlish/boyish figure and dive in! Give in to the carbs – the stuffing is the best part. Eat then drive to Jeffersonville Outlets at midnight to get an early start on shopping…

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26
Victoria’s Secret Has It Right: “Pink Friday”
Black Friday @ every goddamn store, food vendor, daycare, whatever you can think of! Get your holiday shopping done in just a couple of hours. Except for me. I usually use it as an excuse to buy myself a bunch of shit I don’t need. Upside? Starbucks and other coffee shops generally open earlier than the stores to keep shoppers happy! Nothing like a tasty white mocha at 3a.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 27
Saturday Night of the long Holiday Weekend!
DJ Rob Engel @ Axis, 775 N High St, 614.291.4008, www.columbusnightlife.com: Spinnin’ discs in a different way. 10p, cover.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 28
Make Sure You Have Plenty Of Ones Left After Jeffersonville
Strippers @ Score Bar, 145 N 5th St, 614.849.0099, www.scorebarcolumbus.com. Jocks, sweaty dollars, fingers in orifices… ‘Nuff said. 9:30p.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 29
Get It? Get It?
Karaoke @ AWOL, 49 Parsons Ave, 614.621.8779, www.awolbar.com: Show off your nine-octave range at a neighborhood favorite. 10p; free.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 30
16 Men and a Bottle of Rum
Glee @ Trafik, 205 N. Fifth St, 614.222.2401: You know you love it… even you “butch” guys. Watch with your people here. Glee rules dude.

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Stonewall Uprising: A Documentary

This Thursday and Friday (October 7 & 8), the Wexner Center for the Arts hosts an evening of documentary filmmaking that has a particular resonance for the Columbus LGBT community. Stonewall Uprising is a new film about the June 28, 1969 police raid on a Greenwich Village bar that sparked days of riots and helped launch the modern gay rights movement. Along with the archival footage, Stonewall Uprising brings the past new life via interviews with Stonewall patrons, Village Voice reporters and the cop who led the raid, letting their recollections paint a more vivid history.

Dave Filipi, film curator at the Wexner Center, explains that Stonewall Uprising is part of an “ongoing program and we show documentaries all the time. Obviously, Columbus has a large GLBT community that is vibrant, active and plugged into the arts, with many Wexner faithful among them. These films are usually met with a good response.”

The social and political significance of the Stonewall riots stirred an already active local conscience, as Douglas Whaley, Professor of Law Emeritus at Ohio State University writes “The baby boomers began to flex their muscles in the late 1960s on many fronts. First came the civil rights movement to rectify hundreds of years of discrimination against African Americans, then the drive for women’s rights, and protection for the disabled. Finally, in 1969, the Stonewall riots led to a nationwide push for protection of gays and lesbians. All over the country gay militant groups were formed shortly after the Stonewall riots, and the first of these arose in Columbus at Ohio State. It was called The Gay Activist Alliance.”

HollywoodReporter.com reviewed the film, saying “There have been several significant films documenting the struggle for gay civil rights, including Before Stonewall and After Stonewall. Stonewall Uprising skillfully fills the gap in between.”

Leading off the night’s program is Last Address, the latest from filmmaker Ira Sachs. This short, meditative film takes you on a tour past the exteriors of the last residences of New York artists who have died of AIDS, including Keith Haring, Robert Mapplethorpe, Felix Gonzalez-Torres, and others.

Stay after the Thursday screening for a panel discussion with Sachs and local experts including Doug Whaley and Lyn Hegarty, a senior lecturer in Ohio State’s Department of History. This is an excellent opportunity to speak directly to the filmmaker and to engage in a discussion of the films and their significance in Columbus and beyond.

The Wexner Center for the Arts is located at 1871 N. High Street. The films will be shown Thursday and Friday at 7p. Admission is $5 for members, seniors and students and $7 for the general public. For tickets, call the box office @ 614.292.3535 or Ticketmaster @ 800.745.3000. For more information, visit: http://wexarts.org/fv/index.php?eventid=4965.

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